Hey LAD -- it's been nearly a month since your post -- are you still out there? What's the scoop? Have you survived your ordeal on the cardiac step-down unit?Originally Posted by LAD_RN
It would be important for the rest of us to hear from you because, while this thread has wandered far afield from your original post, there have been a lot of responses from nurses who genuinely care that you make it through this tough patch and gaina sense of comfort & confidence in your new career.
Two insights I'd like to share with you:
First, you're a survivor. You told us that 9 nurses had left the unit -- just since you'd started your job! There's a term in psychology called "survivor syndrome." It is applied to those who remain after some natural (or man-made) disaster and feel overwhelmed, weary, unsure that they can or will go on. These folks also begin to doubt themselves -- in situations where they've survived an epidemic, for instance, they report feeling guilty that THEY LIVED while others, friends and family, did not. In your situation, you may feel like you picked a poor place to practice, like it is your fault that your career got off to a rocky start or that you're a "chump" for staying, so you'd best move on like theother 9 nurses have. You said you feel "disappointed in the way I feel." There's no need for that. Your feelings are perfectly natural and understandable, but don't get stuck feeling bad about yourself or your practice!
Don't be disabled by survivor syndrome. You're alive. Your career lies ahead of you. You chose this place to begin your life's work. You can choose to move on, to select a different setting or to see if you can change the one you're working in (although that is easier said than done). None of these choices is a "bad" choice. It is only when you see yourself as having NO choice that things unravel and truely go from bad to worse. As long as you recognize that YOU HAVE CHOICES, you will not become a victim of the place or the people who you work for or with. Consider your choices, and know that choice does put you in charge of your future.
Second, you are clearly wounded and afraid. You said in your original post, "I am nervous and constantly feel that my license is in jepordy" -- trust me, we've all been in some situation where we fear that our own professional future is being jeopardized by a workplace situation. Sooner or later, it happens to everyone. It is, in part, the end result of a very STRONG nursing history of taking responsiblity for the care of others. The public trusts us (the Gallup poll puts us at the top of that list year after year!) as so, when things around us go wrong, we naturally fear that our lively-hood is at risk.
Don't let fear run your career. Take your concerns to someone who can help (Whether you get the help you seek or not, just raising your voice keeps you from feeling like a victim!). That may be someone within the organization -- a manager, administrator, or even a board member. If that route proves useless, it may be the community who counts on this hospital for its care -- so perhaps the newspaper is your avenue for making your concerns known.
And, by all means, take care of yourself. Whether you stay or go at this point in your worklife, is entirely up to you. But please know, there IS somewhere else in Michigan for you to find fulfillment in nursing. There is a nursing department that will be thrilled to have you and your enthusiasm for nursing. I don't know if your present place will "morph" over time into the place you had hoped it might be, but remember, you have choices. Start a list of what you DO WANT in your career so that when you do hunt for the next job, the next healthcare system, the next manager or work-unit, you'll recognize the one you want when you see it.
Best wishes for a long and healthy career in nursing.
--p