Actual 2003 Headlines--funny!

[Aaron C.]

This was sent to me via email:


> > THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2003:
> >
> > Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
> > [no, really?]
> >
> > Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
> > [now that's taking things a bit far!]
> >
> > Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
> > [what a guy!]
> >
> > Miners Refuse to Work after Death
> > [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
> >
> > Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
> > [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]
> >
> > War Dims Hope for Peace
> > [I can see where it might have that affect!]
> >
> > If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
> > [you think?!]
> >
> > Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
> > [who would have thought!]
> >
> > Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
> > [they may be on to something!]
> >
> > Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
> > [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
> >
> > Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
> > [he probably IS the battery charge!]
> >
> > New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
> > [weren't they fat enough the first time?!]
> >
> > Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
> > [that's what he gets for eating those beans!]
> >
> > Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
> > [definitely worthy of a headline!]
> >
> >
> > Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
> > [that was really giving of himself!]
> >
> > Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
> > [Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
> >
> > Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors
> > [boy, are they tall!]
> >
> > And the winner is....
> >
> > Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
> > [I should think so]!

[cassioo]

sounds like Jay Leno

[CCHADWI]

If Strike isn't settled......and the Red tape are my favorites. Too funny.......