Funniest things in LTC???

[cougarnurse]

Do any of you have funny stories from your facility? Any 'unforgetable' residents? If so, why not post 'em!? Having worked LTC for quite some time, I have a few......

[LTC LPN 2006]

This is a student nursing clinical / LTC funny story that happened to 3 other students in my nursing class... I heard it from them and the picture it paints is hillarious.

A nursing student went in to check on her resident and the resident was laying on her side with her tongue sticking out and the nursing student noticed part of her tongue had been bitten off and was laying on the pillow beside her! In a panic she flagged down two other nursing students who were baffled at what they were seeing. No one knew what to do or think of the situation.
One of the students went to get a staff nurse. The staff nurse was on the phone but the nursing instructor was free. The student told the instructor "You're never going to believe this..." and brought her down to the room.
The instructor took a look at the resident, reached out and touched the peice of "tongue" smearing it on the pillow.
What appeared to be a bitten off tongue was too much denture cream oozing out of the residents mouth and a peice of denture cream on the pillow.
The students were embarrased but thankful that they only embarased themselves infront of our instructor. We were all laughing so hard we were crying when the story was told in post-conference at the end of the clincial day.

[cougarnurse]

One resident of mine had a real bad problem with dry legs, so I had ordered Triamcinalone. Well....when I mentioned what I ordered, somehow she thought I said men's shaving lotion. Had a battle on my hands for about a week. Now, she and I are ok. Some things are tooo funny!

'Cat'

[cougarnurse]

Another unforgetable moment happened about 2-3 years ago. One resident had been admitted after getting hit by a car. Guy is in his 80's, and had a girlfriend about a 1/4 of his age. During a Christmas party, he looked up at one of the staff members and quite casually asked, "When do the strippers show up!?"

'Cat'

[busy-bee]

I was giving a shower to a elderly female who wouldn't go with out her husband. I get her into the shower, while her husband is sitting in a chair outside the shower stall. Next thing I know.........he pulls open the curtain and is standing there naked as a jay bird and walks right into the shower. Now I am showering the both of them. I place the call light on for I need help with this, my fellow nurse comes in and we finish the two of them. You just have love them to laugh, and laugh we did.

[LTC LPN 2006]

Another funny moment that I still laugh about was actually between two nurses. One nurse is Chinese and can be quite difficult to understand and the other is close to retirement age and even though it is hair dye making her hair blonde... I think she must have completely blonde roots in her brain.

The Chinese nurse was giving report and said a resident was having "rectal bleeding". The other nurse heard "rectal breathing"... they went back and forth. The second nurse was so confused. She stated "I know what rectal is, but I've never heard of rectal breathing" To everyone else it it was obviously not rectal breathing but it was scary how long it took her to figure that out.

This nurse also called the police department one night and told them we heard a noise like a "gun shot wound" and she repeated that exact thing to at least 5 other people and all the rest of us kept laughing... what exactly does a "gun shot wound" sound like??? She's got a good heart, but sometimes I wonder how she's made it this long or if she's just past her expiration date for retirement. :doh1:

[Nurse Punkin]

I was reading a nurses note that said the resident was "Moon Downing".
I laughed so hard tears were coming from my eyes.

[cougarnurse]

One sweet dementia patient was a howl. One day, someone said, "XYZ, you look very pretty today' She responded, "Yeah?' The Aide (or whomever) said 'Yeah', to which "XYZ' then replied "Ahhhh, sh**!" Just the way she said it was a total scream.

'Cat'

[bdeherr]

One of our sweet lady Alzheimer's residents that was rarely vocal any more, observed two other residents involved in a heated arguement; as I quickly approached to resolve the situation, our sweet lady said quite plainly "You two are in trouble now!"

Another time I was very surprised when I opend the door to the linen room to find one of our "wanderers" in her wheelchair in the darkened linen room, her immediate remark? " I bet you've been looking for me!"

We had the great pleasure of caring for an elderly "Home Ec" teacher with memory problems, as we were working on rehab it became very apparent many parts of her brain were functioning quite well, thank you! Our OT was helping her with cooking skills, when she used three slices of bread to make a sandwich, as he corrected her she informed him in no uncertain terms she was making a "triple-decker!" I found her one morning with her shirt inside out, I whispered to her that we would go to her room and switch this, she informed me "Don't you know anything? They make shirts now with the tag on the outside." Right again, dear one!

[cougarnurse]

One of our sweet lady Alzheimer's residents that was rarely vocal any more, observed two other residents involved in a heated arguement; as I quickly approached to resolve the situation, our sweet lady said quite plainly "You two are in trouble now!"

Another time I was very surprised when I opend the door to the linen room to find one of our "wanderers" in her wheelchair in the darkened linen room, her immediate remark? " I bet you've been looking for me!"

We had the great pleasure of caring for an elderly "Home Ec" teacher with memory problems, as we were working on rehab it became very apparent many parts of her brain were functioning quite well, thank you! Our OT was helping her with cooking skills, when she used three slices of bread to make a sandwich, as he corrected her she informed him in no uncertain terms she was making a "triple-decker!" I found her one morning with her shirt inside out, I whispered to her that we would go to her room and switch this, she informed me "Don't you know anything? They make shirts now with the tag on the outside." Right again, dear one!

Am stil rotfl on this one..... Bwahahahaha!

'Cat'