What should I say?

Hey all. I'm a new RN BSN who graduated in 2006 and am currently working in a nursing home on night shift. My problem is, there is an LPN with many years experience who has a huge amount of animosity towards me. I have been nothing but nice to her, and I never had this problem as an aide under her.

For some reason, she has become passive aggressive towards me. She is constantly making comments to her aides and other lpns (Rns are a minority there) that RNs think LPNS are crap who don't do anything or know anything. I have never made these comments to her and don't believe in them. To me, a nurse is a nurse, no matter the initials. She used to be very nice until I passed the NCLEX. Since then, everything about me has been rudely commented on, including my school (which is a great school BTW).

I am wondering what I can say to her when she makes these comments. I am frankly sick of being oppressed by them.

I don't know if its my age or my license, but I've worked hard for my BSN and my age doesn't mean that I am an idiot. I've never made references to insinuate that she is below me. In fact, I admire all the hard work she's done. I am leaving in a couple weeks to be a maternity nurse at the hospital, but still, I dread that I have to work with her for the next two weeks. She is making our environment hostile. Is there anything I can do?

there's another thread on here called RN vs LPN. There's probably nothing you can say. If you've treated her with respect and not acted like since "now I'm the RN and I'm in charge even though you've been and LPN for 100 years and I know more" attitude there's not much you can do. Sometimes time helps and others times that's just how they are. I work with nurses who don't like the new grads because they don't know anything some even after 5 years they still act like they are new....and heaven forbid the nursing students come and try to learn.

Simply put its called being absolutely childish. She will be your friend when you are below her but the minute you do something for yourself and further your career she treats you like that? I for one will never put up with childish antics like that and the best way to make it known is to somehow show her what shes doing.. in a non hostile way of course. Im not meaning dig a deep hole but hopefully she can learn something from the experience and realize what shes doing.

No matter what your mission as a nurse is to take care of people no matter what initials you have or how many years of experience. If i was a patient and i had to see that bitterness i would be absolutely disgusted with it.

sounds like SHE has the problem. what CAN you do? there's nothing you can do to change her. it's her choice to act that way.

hsieh wrote:sounds like SHE has the problem. what CAN you do? there's nothing you can do to change her. it's her choice to act that way.

I agree. Just think of the high BP and face wrinkles she'll get from being so bitter. :)

ok so you caught my advice at the wrong time... definitely take these guys advice and just ignore lol

IMO She is obviously jealous and unmotivated to take the necessary steps to get her RN. Dont let it affect you and continue to do your job to the best of your ability. Congrats on your degree and I hope you have the best of luck in the greatest career in the world!!!

You should say nothing. You can't change other people, just yourself. She's obviously not a happy person. Happy, well-adjusted people don't do things like that. It also seems she has some kind of self-esteem issues related to her LPN status. It's sad. Some of the best nurses I've worked with are LPNs.

It is hard sometimes to be a new RN who "outranks" other, more experienced workers. I've been there too. I think all you can do is let them know that you respect and value their opinion and their experience. The fact is, however, it's your license that they are working under and you are ultimately responsible for the care that the patients under their (therefore your) care receive. If something goes wrong, it's your license on the line. You need to be assertive but respectful.

It's interesting that when you start working in a hospital setting the opposite will probably happen to you. At least it did with me. Where I work there are all kinds of residency programs and all the residents at one point will rotate through the ICUs and ER (where I work). Most of them are really inexperienced (that's why they're there). They will "outrank" you, but you will probably know more about your specialty area than they do.

I'm rambling here, but just know that the "pecking order" will always be an issue in your career. You have to follow the doctor's orders, but if the doctor orders 100mg of Morphine are you going to give it? It's a balancing act.

Good Luck!!

Hey darling i read your posts, theres nothing much you can do, maybe at your lunch breaks, just talk to her, just general chat talk about how the weekend was, just make conversation with you, she probably dosnt know how to take it, that your gotten this far, maybe its a bit much for her to stomach, when she found out how did she find out, did you tell her or it came out in conversation, if you where under her and know your not, you gotta be careful , but in other words, who gives a **** what she thinks, it dosnt matter, dont worry what she thinks, as long as your happy and enjoy what your doing, thats all that matters, your not their to make her life happy, your their for your residents, if your still worried about it, just ask her if she is alright, and whats going on it works believe me i ask that and people have no problems telling me whats on their minds, i have no choice but to listen

hope its help
from honey22
xxxxx:whipping:

I think "doing nothing" is very wrong!!!! This will eventually contribute burnout and you leaving- if she is continuing to berate you and spread rumors about you that is called harassment!!! I think you should talk to your supervisor on the best way to handle this situation. I would hope that he/she would encourage some type of dialogue between the two of you to clear the air and allow each person to express their concerns or worries. It would give you a chance to tell her that you under no circumstances disrespect her or her level of training. There may be things that you have said or done that she took the wrong way, or may be her self esteem is so low that she just has a chip on her shoulder. I have encountered this situation several times in my twelve year career, and I know how demoralizing it can be. Even if you just talk to your supervisor and take it no further, it could be a relief just to get it off your chest. You absolutely should not have to work in an environment where you are harassed or picked on! Why do you think nurses leave the bedside? Bullying and verbal harassment from coworkers is right up there with short staffing for high turnover. I would investigate online/books also for ways to learn more assertive behavior. Also- does your facility have an Employee Assistance Program ?(I went to one due to an RN coworker who was harassing me) I felt it was very satisfying...this may be a better if option if it is available to you...Last but not least, you may find that talking to this person, alone, after thinking very clearly on what you want to say, to address your concerns. Try and use the "I" statements ("you" statements make someone defensive) such as "I really feel bad when you say things about the school I went too", etc. But I would suggest you go to #1: EAP or #2 your supervisor to gain guidance on how to approach it. I guarantee you that they do not want to lose you!!!! Whoops- I just reread your post...didn't realize that you were going to leave so soon@!!!! Still, I guess if I had only 2 weeks left I would bite the bullet and just talk to her, tell her how you feel, listen respectfully and then let it go. I would also take the experience with you and definitely try and employ the above options if this should happen to you again! I am sorry that you suffered for so long! Is this a reason why you are leaving? You should tell the facility in your exit interview for sure....

Well, thanks for the advice everyone. Luckily I just started my new job as a pediatric/maternity nurse, so I don't see her anymore. From what I hear though, the other aides were not happy because she looked down on them as well, and they are integral to the care of those residents. I'm much happier with my new career, and with those that can look at me with respect that I've worked hard for my license. :)

yeah thats so good to hear thats shes dosnt work there anymore, oh well goog luck to u:luck:
honey22

:smoking2: AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY WE SMOKE EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW HOW IT HURTS OUR LUNGS. HONEY TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND KEEP IT MOVING. DO NOT FEED INTO HER BEHAVIOR. BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS, A BEHAVIOR. THINK BACK TO THE PERSONALITY CHAPTER OF YOUR PSYCH. COURSE. IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT SHE IS NOT HAPPY FOR YOU. BUT, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. STAY POSITIVE AND WHEN YOU LEAVE THAT JOB LEAVE HER THERE WITH IT! I MUST ALSO TELL YOU, YOU WILL NEED TO BUILD COPING SKILLS FOR PEOPLE LIKE HER BECAUSE THER ARE PEOPLE LIKE HER IN EVERY PLACE THAT YOU WILL WORK. IN MY CULTURE WE CALL THEM "HATERS". GO ON TO GET YOUR MASTERS AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE HAPPY FOR YOU. CONGRADULATIONS AND KEEP YOUR HEAD TO THE SKY AND THANK GOD FOR YOUR BLESSINGS.