Men vs. Women, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor

1 post · started Apr 12, 2007

nursinghumor Apr 12, 2007, 4:20 PM
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle/

While eating out and the bill arrives, the guys will each throw in $20 even though the bill is only $22.50. None will have anything smaller, and none will admit they want change back.
When girls get the bill out come the calculators.

With money a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 dollar item she doesn't want.

In a bathroom a man has 6 items. A toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Holiday Inn.
A women has on average 337 items in her bathroom. A man would not be able to identify most of these Items.

In arguments a woman has the last word.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking men kick cats.

A women worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A husband doesn't worry about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, and read a book.
A man will get dressed up for weddings and funerals.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful women is one who can find such a man.

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Andrew Lopez, RN
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