you've probably heard it before on this forum a million times, i'm a male nursing student and it's official, i am depressed, and have been for a long time. i keep trying to 'wait it out' but it hasn't got better. i don't want to see a therapist, and won't. this is something i need to get over on my own.
i am a 21 yr old male student who is doing very well in the program (3.8 gpa), but: i have no friends really, the girls are very, very shady to me and everyone is in 'cliques' but me i'm very nice to everyone, nothing changes though. there are only 2 guys in my class, one is gay and the other is a dope head like guy. neither i would prefer to hang out with on the weekends (nothing against gays by no means). plus i don't drink or party so that makes it hard for me to fit in really.
the thing that worries me the most is salary. i want to have a family when i'm older, i want to get them nice things and live in a nice place (not a mansion, but you get the point). it's just so embarrasing! EVERYONE mistakes me for a doctor or thinks i should be a doctor, after all, i was valedictorian of my high school. it was so different in high school, i had so many friends and was an athlete and was so happy. sorry to ramble on and on, but i have no desire to do anything, i can't sleep, and i find myself constantely alone with on and off periods of crying. not sure what i'm asking of this forum, but i figured i'd post anyways. thanks for reading.
Hey Rob, sorry to hear about your situation. I respect the fact that you said you don't want to see a therapist or what have you. I'm 26, and I graduated from nursing school a few months ago. School took an emotional toll on me too. I'm not trying to discredit your feelings, I'm just saying I can relate. I remember I'd cry for like no reason, and just being really emotional. I was really anxious about grades, I felt like I had to be perfect. And then when I'd get below a 90% on a test i'd freak. BUT me, unlike you from the sounds of it, had peers that I could share my feelings with along with 2 great parents and friends. I had about 7 of the coolest guys in my class that I could talk to. Do you have any friends you can talk to? How about your parents? You can always talk to your instructors, and student counselors. I know you don't want to hear this, but if you're depression is really bad, maybe you should make an appointment with your physician for an evaluation. I'm only throwing out ideas here, and probably no ideas you haven't yourself thought of. If you ever need support, we're here for you.
Thanks Steve. I'm glad you can relate, especially about grades too I'm the same way. I have two incredible parents, but they are about 7 hrs away so I can only call them. I had so many best friends from high school, but they are far away and most of them changed (got into drugs, etc). My school is small so theres not many ppl to choose from to hang with. I have about 2 closer friends in the program, both are girls. Two problems with this: one, they are best friends so they hang out more together; second, they're girls, I like to hang out with guys and do guy stuff ya know? I just constantely, constantely want to be alone- I go to movies at the theatre alone, play soccer alone, and eat at restaurants alone. Those who know who I am know me as a very strong person so they think I am just really strong and independent and prefer the company of just myself as a result, but they don't know the inside because I cover it up well and I don't want them to know. Honestly, I'm scared to death about my future, whether I can make an honest living with this career where I can support a family comfortably and buy them nice things. And as I said, I'm horribly embarrassed about going into the field, it's like when I talk with a girl and flirt and try to ask her on a date I always hope to god she doesn't ask what my major is (but they always do, and I am so embarrased to tell them, sometimes I say nursing AND something, like pharmacy or chemistry). I plan on going to graduate school like you too, how is everything turning out?
Right now things are fine. I enjoy nursing. It pays good. You already understand you won't get filthy rich, but it does pay good. I currently work in LTC and it's great. I enjoy my residents, aides, most of administration; Even the doctors are cool. If you really want to become a nurse, you can do it. Don't doubt your capabilities. Being a "male nurse" is nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, I hate the title "nurse". But i'm not going to get into that again!
Regarding your depression, you need to identify it's cause. If your depression is caused by environmental factors, make adjustments to correct the problem. If your depression is deeper than that (which it sounds like), talk to your doctor and see what he thinks. There are tons of antidepressant medications out there that can help you. Depression is a very real illness, and there's no shame in seeking help.
1. I am taking some nursing classes now and i find the women in there to be extremely catty and unsociable.
2. If a girl thinks less of you becuase you want to devote yourself to helping people, then there is something wrong with her not you. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
when i decided to get into nursing i didnt want to tell anyone for fear of what they would think. what they should think of you is that you are a bright person who chose a field that can make a difference in the world
3. I dont know where you live, but in my area if you end up with a mastres, or stay with the bsn, you will have a bright future. You wil be able to provide for your family. and you will be able to show your children the value o fdoing something worthwhile.
4. I dont know what your school offers, but look into intramural sports. or if they have a gym, start going there.
5. I went to a therapist becuase i felt depressed. some of it helped. it is not a sign of weakness. you think you should just get over it yourself, but remember healthcare providers are here to help.
Rich,
thanks, it's nice to know there is others who feel the same way i do. i feel better about being able to provide for a family now with a good salary, i was thinking about getting a phd and teaching nursing at a college, maybe coach a high school sport on the side who knows.
i've been extremely depressed lately still, but i have hope i'll get better. i would like to see a therapist, but i dont have the money for that and i dont want insurance taking care of it and the like cause my parents will find out (yes i'm embarrased and don't want my friends and family to find out). i'm ocd too (i know we all are, but i have it pretty bad it drives me nuts, but i hide it very well so noone knows hopefully...) so i was thinking about seeing a therapist for that. reason i don't want to is because i want to overcome these things myself instead of swallowing pills to solve my problems.
Hey man, best of luck with your situation. You seem like a great guy with a good head on your shoulders. I see depression as a "mind of matter" situation. I wouldn't worry so much about your high school buddies and how you had a lot of friends. Most people in high school usually go their own ways. I graduated in Minnesota from high school and moved to Florida with my family. I have no friends here. I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful beautiful girl. She's like my best friend. There is hope for yah buddy. If you ever want to talk feel free to send me a message. I'm turning 21 this march. Best of luck to you and like I said, if you want to chat sometime, send me a message. (AOL IM: N13286) (MSN IM: tama36rs@hotmail.com)(Email: thomas_pietrantonio@hotmail.com)
hey rob, how're things going man? haven't heard from you in a while. School going OK? What are you going over right now? Making any new friends yet? Take it easy, steve
thanks steve for the concern. my internet has been down so i haven't had the chance to get on here. school is 'ok'... i'm not doing too well in classes. considering i have a 3.9 gpa and would like to keep it up there, i have a D in one of my classes and a C in the other, i hope to bring it up to a C (and this is bad enough, i've NEVER got anything below a B). the teacher is extremely hard and unfair. oh well, that's life. girls are still really shady, probably always will be too. i ate lunch with some of the nursing students the other day, it went well.
i feel ashamed sometimes during class cause some of the things we do just seem so 'elementary' and 'silly' that it's somewhat insulting. ie: learning how to make a bed for 3 hours. or the atsmoshphere of the classroom, sometimes in this one class we play games to review the material (like how you played 'math basketball' in 5th grade).
on another note i was talking to some friends and my major came up and one of them said 'he's not a doctor, he's a nurse! didn't want to go for the doctor heh?' then i get made fun of. and some girl i was talking to the other day was like 'oh, a male nurse? ummm ok...' and didn't show interest. then i watched 'meet the parents', hilarious movie! but i felt just like ben stiller did. it was odd watching this.
anyways, how is everyone else doing in here? i'm curious to see what everyone does for a living in here, if they're married and how their wife feels about them being a male nurse, and what your 'style of living' is like (ie: what kind of house you live in, kids, etc, like if you're able to support yourself and your family well. i still worry about money yes, don't we all...)
I am 22 and graduate in May from a nursing program (God willing). I am in it because my mother is a nurse and has been a HUGE inspiration to me - and the fact that I'm guarenteed job security and decent income - but that's not as important as the fact that I like it. I don't think your problem is so much that you're ashamed of the profession you're entering. It SEEMS like you are WAY too hard on yourself and a little bit paranoid. Being depressed can have that effect on people - BELIEVE ME, I know. In clinicals, all dressed in white with my lab coat on, EVERY patient I've ever had instantly asks if I'm going to be a doctor. I just say "no, actually, I'm going to be a nurse" with a big smile on my face. I kind of enjoy the chance to surprise people. Nursing is NOT ALL ABOUT caring and compassion. I mean, it helps and it's something you need to have to be a nurse, but people don't understand that nursing requires a very sharp mind and a LOT of skill and knowledge. The only difference between nursing and medicine is that nursing treats the person and the person's response to the disease. Medicine treats the disease itself.
I take Prozac on a daily basis. When I was 19, I was on Effexor and Prozac for almost a year, went off of it and now I'm back on the Prozac as of recently. I don't take a pill to make me happy because at some point in time, I will be able to stop taking it and be fine - but for now, no. I need the medication to help me cope and reduce some of the anxiety. It doesn't make me happy, but it DOES allow me to have a "clear mind" so that I can actually know what problems I have and work on them in a logical manner. Truth be told, I'm on Prozac and I'm pretty sad right now because my cat was crushed three days ago by a Buick. I was depressed for about a year before I got some help in the first place....and failed two semesters in college as a result. There's NO reason to feel bad if you don't have to. As far as not having the money...there are PLENTY of mental health clinics that charge based on income. I was charged $5 once for a counseling visit. The school counselors are a good resource. Use them. Chances are you're not going to feel better until you discover the root of your problems...and to do that - guess what. It might just mean taking a pill once a day or talking to a counselor. There are FAR worse options. Do what you need to do to get yourself better because if it only gets worse (which it might), then failure will not do anything good for your mood. I've been there and I know and I wish you the best.
Rob,
I understand your situation. I have been a nurse for about three years after being a Paramedic since 1994. The reason I became a nurse and I think you might be interested in is to go on to CRNA school which I start in May of this year. As a CRNA you have a lot more autonomy heavy science base, and intense critical thinking. here are a couple of websites you might look at if interested. You can always email me fallonrn@yahoo.com. www.aana.com, www.allnurses.com go to nursing specialties then to nurse anesthesia. www.gaswork.com, www.gasjobs.com. CRNA's make some between $120,000/yr to $300,000 per year for something that seems like an awesome job as well as 4-6 weeks of vacation/education per year. Hope this helps some. Also try mentoring a young boy or teen and teach them things like soccer or other things you are interested in. Like a big bother or something similar. Good luck.
CorollaULEV,
maybe i am too hard on myself, but i'm not sad about that or does it bother me that much i dont think. but others have told me i am too hard on myself. what makes me depressed/sad is the fact i'm a nursing major and i am embarrased of it. is this what made you depressed? it's really odd, i am SO happy and jolly when i'm away from nursing, such as when i'm just chilling on the weekends, but man when clinicals come around i am shot down. i've tried various things to help me cope and really right now my biggest concern is my lack of focus and energy. my memory seems to have gone to hell. caffeine doesn't help and i tried other stimulants. a lot of the students i know are taking aderol but i dont have access to something like that. i hate to take medicines but if they help, they help.
today at clinical it was horrible. i was left in the back to walk alone, the girls didn't talk to me much, and yep i was asked 'why are you going to be a nurse, why not a doctor?' my clients daughter also told us she didn't want us taking care of her mother cause we were students. nothing seemed to go right. i left clinicals thinking about if i made the right choice going into nursing and if i was really pushing myself to my fullest potential by doing so, something that means a great deal to me. i want to make sure i am pushing myself to my limits and fullest potential. can you relate? i notice you just got your degree how is it going?
jacads,
thanks for the links. i actually wanted to be a CRNA for the longest time, but money was the only reason. after learning about the job and seeing it in action, it just didn't seem it was for me. not that i am trying to avoid stress, but anesthesia takes the cake. that kind of responsibility is too much for me. i do like (just 'like', not 'love') the sciences such as physiology and biology, but i was told at CRNA school you are loaded with the chemistry and some physics, two courses i cannot stand and am awful at.
one thing i am trying to find out information on is exactly what can i branch off into with a nursing degree, can i do physical therapy or be a sports trainer or physician assistant, etc etc? stuff w/o the name 'nurse' in it. just so i can keep my options open ya know? also, ironically you mentioned it, i am a mentor for 3 boys. i take them out every week or two and have been doing it for the past 2-3 years. i am not too big a fan of kids and honestly, i am very tired of doing it because i would rather spend my time with people my own age and the kids get very annoying at times, but i do it with a smile on my face and their mom told me they are in love with me so i'm glad in that sense.
how do you feel about teaching nursing? at a college and stuff? just wondering if you have any info on that.
Nursing school is a trial by fire--know and believe that "this too, shall pass." The men I have encountered in school and on the job have been by and large, the best--nurses, men, caring human beings. Just keep on doing the best you can and don't worry about what others think. I have found the best cures for depression are a few minutes of sunshine daily, direct your thoughts off yourself and on the needs of others, a brisk walk, good diet, plenty of good sleep, peace with God and others, and believe it or not, a daily dose of sublingual B-12 (my supplement has B-6 and folic acid too). The B vitamin supplement is just something I stumbled upon (the sublingual route is especially important for the B-12--I never got the good results I get now with just po supplements). For all nursing school students: PERSEVERE, ENDURE, HAVE COURAGE.
I am a female nurse, so I don't know whether I am allowed to post on this site. I just want to say that you should, if at all possible, seek some type of counseling or possibly medication to help with your depression. As a chronic sufferer, now much better, it pains me to hear of anyone so distraught. I remember nursing school, though it was long ago. Our pediatric rotation was so awful and so grueling that when it was time for our pictures for the yearbook to be taken, none of the ones of we who had just completed Pedi could be used as we looked so utterly depressed and exhausted; not one! I know there is little time available, but perhaps even light exercise, ie fifteen minutes of walking or other form of exercise may also be helpful. I know it sounds cliche and I used to sneer at such advice, thinking nothing so simple could possibly help with my type of problems, severe as they were. But little by little I learned that even small things, though not curative, can help, which is better than nothing. Please don't feel bad about your decision to become a nurse. It must feel awfully insulting and degrading to hear people imply that you are wasting your talents and intellects when you could be a doctor or whatever. You are young yet. Who knows what the future holds? If you stay in nursing, good for you. Life is full of possibility, most especially when you are young. Lastly, though, I remember that by the time I had finished nursing school, I had had enough. When it was time to take the boards, and this was the "olden days" when it meant sitting for six hours of exams on two days, some of my friends were joking that at least it would be "cooler in February" as we took the boards in a non-air conditioned former army induction center in Boston during a heat wave. I told them that if I did not pass on the first go around I had no intention of taking the boards again! And I meant it. That did not happen, but that was how demoralized I felt by the end of it all. I hope things improve for you. I really do.
Hey rob21,
You're showing symptoms of clinical depresion. This is NOT something to be ashamed of, or thought of as a sign of weakness. This does not mean that you are less of a man. It only means you are HUMAN. Your depression might be from external causes (like nursing school) which will eventually end, or from something internal. Don't suffer from what I call the "John Wayne syndrome ",where you think you just "need to get over it on your own". That's usually not effective.
I also had to basically give up my life while I attended nursing school. Everyone does. It was a very tough time of life for me too and though it may seem that you don't fit in with your male or female peers, I didn't either. From your GPA you're definately a cut above the others and there's probably a lot of jealousy. But, that doesn't matter at all. I had absolutely no desire to keep in touch with any of my classmates after graduation. I kept myself focused and made it through (one of only two guys out of eight who did). The longest ten years of my life was the last month of nursing school.
A nursing degree can be a major springboard for many future endevors. You can go LOTS of places from there.
What you can do right now is to find someone to talk to. I doesn't have to be a fellow student. It can be anyone. A casual aquaintance, a relative or find a support group in the phone book. You won't believe how much it helps just to share your feelings with someone and find that you're not the only one feeling the way you do. Next I highly suggest exercising. You won't believe how important this is. Swim, hike, lift weights or whatever you enjoy. Get a dog and walk him five miles twice a day. Just do it on a regular basis. Everyone I know had to put their life on hold while they went to school. That's normal.
Lastly, medication can help, but it's much more effective if you have a therapist too. There's no shame in asking your regular or school physician for an antidepressant. You'd be amazed how many people take them. Many of the psychiatrists I work with take meds and go to therapy. And forget about the people mistaking you for a doctor thing, because after you start working you'll be training them. And your student loans will be paid off years before theirs.
You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
Please let me know how things are going for you.
Good Luck,
Hey, sorry to intrude on your forum, I am a female considering nursing, I have a background in science and felt that nursing would be the perfect job for someone seeking clinical, rather than laboratory experience (as I am bored with the lab). However, having talked to many nurses, many of which are looking to get out I am confused as to whether this is for me. Its intersting to see that for men its such a blow to their self esteem, to have to do this job. I guess cause all that nurturing and crap is the image projected of nurses, rather than people with ttechnical skills. Which I have to admit is what kinda puts me and a lot of my science graduated friends (who hate their jobs...or are unemployed...who god forbid should have to do something that isn't "academic" enough). I personally am not one of those bleading hearts, and thats not what attracts me to nursing, it is the science behind it as well as I feel that its an ongoing learning experience.
I think it is even harder for younger women to become nurses, cause of the way we tend to be treated as assistants no matter what we do. But hey guys I hear your pain... I have a friend that is trying to get out, because she feels that shes just the helper, and that every other health professional gets beter treatment, and shes sick of doctors who have a "god complex". Anyhow, I am put off from nursing, but I'll probably try to swallow my pride and put up with it. Currently theres a huge nurse shortage (In Australia) and I am looking for job security. The moneys not great, but I feel this ias a great stepping stone for me,.....as long as I can put up with all the condescending idiots.
This is a female dominated profession...so I expect it must be pretty exciting for guys.....as for me, I'll probably also be typecast as a brainless moron, who loves to read womens weekly and gossip....like so many idiots have told me ...oh nurses you know all they do is gossip...incidentally this has come from colleagues who are doctors.....yeah o.k all they do is gossip....more like they're too busy cleaning up other peoples crap, being yelled at by patients and patronised by doctors....anyhow.....
I remember when I first got out of college and felt the same in different circumstances. It may just be a function of age and starting a new life. I went back for an ADN after 15 yrs of work in the real world.
Logically I can tell you that nursing is the best job a man could ever have. Between the flexibility and income there are few equals. Docs are stuck with their practice while we nurses can travel at a whim. I've never had a job where they begged me to work overtime and then thanked me each time I did it. Over the past couple of years I've made over $100,000/yr which I never thought I would see. Mind you I work at least 60 hrs per week.
The girls are girls. They love to talk and just don't think like guys. I have a few friends (guys, my wife wouldn't care for girlfriends) in other professions I've met while working. There are few jobs where there are as many personal contacts as in healthcare. All the same it is best to find your friends through outside clubs, activities to help broaden your horizons. It's a shame to go out somewhere and have conversations about work.
I've worked 7 years as an Army officer, 7 years as a manager in the service industry, and am on my 7th year in nursing (10 if you count CNA) and I am content with staying with it.
I have one additional thought that most people don't voice. Many nurses approach nursing in a mothering sort of way. You will see this manifested on many levels. Nursing in my opinion is about being a patient advocate not their mother or father. We interact with the physicians and allied health professionals to ensure the patient receives the best outcome possible. This includes being professional, courteous, and a good communicator. In a female dominated field like this, I'm afraid the mothering aspect tends to be infused in the educational process and continues on into the job as well. You just have to ignore it. There are always women who live to exert their influence over others and especially men. Ignore it. It's unimportant.
Be friendly as you have been. If you can't find or don't have time for other interests while in school, don't dispair. It's only a few years.
I think the best to do when one is depressed is to work out, not only ounce but regularly. This will boost you up no matter what. When those endorphines kick in you'll start seeing and feeling better. Sometimes, that's all it will take. But having friends and having a good time is very important too. Sometimes a little rock in our shoe can be a big problem.
It seems like your problems are not job related. Develope your personal life and keep it separate from your work life.
Find an identity besides "Doogie Howser". Try church.
Don't be afraid to see a head shrink, I was worried that my job (as a 'badge carrier') would find out about seeing a head doc, but those records are confidental. I am glad I did, I almost shot myself in the head after being a narc cop for 7 years.
Yea, you'll find people are strange, they expect guys to be doctors and girls to be nurses. The good people tell me that being a male nurse is a noble profession. I just think of myself as a LIFESAVER.
I have been reading the posts and thinking what I could give you as advise because I know exactly how you feel about being embarrassed about being a male nurse. I, too was embarrassed especially after meeting my wife who is a doctor and socializing with her peers. I found myself wanting to make excuses for why I was not a doctor too, or why I hadn't tried medical school. Then, I found that those people whom I was embarrassed in front of were not with me when I was holding the hand of the lady who was dying, or the young man who was in a motorcycle accident and now in the ICU in the middle of the night scared and needing a friendly voice. Or when the family who needs to understand what is going on with their loved one and they are upset because the doctor said something they couldn't understand and walked off. I was there to help them understand the things we were doing and the status of their loved one who lay motionless with IV's, monitors, art-line, etc. They were so scared but relieved when they understood more about what we were doing for them. They were not there when as an ER nurse I delivered a baby on a gerney as it was rolling into the OB unit. They were not there when I could see and understand the data from the monitors which show the trends of my patients vital signs and knowing they are in trouble and in need of calling their doctor in the middle of the night to come in. They were not there when the doctor thanked me for alerting him to a situation that needed to be taken care of immediately. They were not there as I cared for three ICU patients knowing I had the skill and experience necessary to do the job. In other words the embarrassment flew out the window in comparison to what I am and what I can do as a nurse. The position we, as nurses, are in for our patients and their families is very unique within the medical profession. To be there to help them cope with an overwhelming situation they find themselves in. To give of self from the deepest levels of my soul to another human being out of caring and love is not something I am embarrassed to do. I am proud to be a nurse. My parents wonder why I am called a male nurse and not just a nurse. They say women are not called female nurses, why call me a male nurse. When you find what it truely means to be a nurse, then you will never be embarrassed to say you are a nurse. Most of the doctors whom I once was embarrassed in front of, wouldn't have the stomach to do what I do as a nurse. You should be proud of what you can do and what you can give to others in their times of need. Nurses are the only ones who are there 24/7 where we bond with our patients like no other in the medical field if we allow ourselves to do so. Are you going into nursing for a job or a career? As a job it pays ok, sometimes pathetic, sometimes well. As a career, nursing is NOT just women's work. It is a career for caring people.[font=Comic Sans MS]Text[/f]
Sheesh . . . if you think it's bad now. Wait until a patient you're taking care of suddenly up and dies on you. You better be looking for a plan "B" career.
I am sorry to here about your situation. I like you enjoyed highschool very much. I am workin towards my rn at a community college and i constantly receive attittude problems from girls in my class. at 1st the comments bothered me but now i use them as motivation t o be the best i can be at this field. my future salary has always been on my mind however, one of my close friends just started at 19 an hour which is plenty to provide stability for a family. i used to have major depression problems when i was younger. i am 19 now and for most of my highschool i was addicted to prescription drugs..(lortab,valium) but through counseling and finding God i overcame it. i would def. advise talkin to someone but i would be careful with the medication. i wish u the best of luck and know that there is plenty of people who deal with this stigma so u arent alone
does "on my own" include seeking help from random individuals in chat rooms? It seems to me like you DO want help, so why are you afraid counseling? Is the stigma of being in therapy?? Believe me, my sanest friends are the ones who weren´t afraid to tackle their personal problems with a professional. By blocking that off, you just put another obstacle in your way to recovery. be smart - see a counselor. NOW.
Rob,
O.K. let's talk dude!!! As a 44 year old LPN that has suffered from depression most of my adult life, I have some advice for you.
1. If you are clinically depressed it will not go away on it's own. This is not a
virus rob. You need to seek a professional to assess your situation. It is
nothing to be ashamed of. It is a physiological problem...you are not crazy.
2. I never knew how good I could feel until I started taking an anti-depressant,
and went through therapy. It will amaze you to see how good "Normal" feels
again.
3. It sounds like you are brilliant, and you need to stop kicking yourself.
4. Nursing can be very lucrative. With your apparent scholastic ability you could
be a doctor, got an extra 12 years to devote to school? Nurse practioners can make a pretty good living. Most NP's are making at least 75K per year.
Not sure what you meant by earning a good living, but 75K a year is nothing
to sneeze at...especially if you marry some cute NP.
Keep your head up Bro, and don't be affraid to go ask for help.
I was the only guy in my class. There were some pretty hot girls in there, well, in the day class anyway. I switched to the night class because I was "sleeping with" whoever I sat by at any particular time. I swear some of those girls...man...
Anyway, being married, it was a bit difficult. I was accussed of sleeping with the only hot girl in the night class too. This got to the point where I was so mad I stood up during class and went on a curse laden tirade at the top of my lungs. We ended up meeting with the instructors and working it out between us.
Evidently, well, it's a long story.
NONE OF IT was true of course. I'm happily married with 2 beautiful girls, but when you get that many girls in a room, and one guy, and people get mad or jealous, or think people are talking about them, etc., **** hits the fan.
I hate saying things like this, but that is part of what's wrong with nursing. Nurses eat their young. Women tend to be more insecure and catty therefore they talk about each other behind one another's backs.
Women are like cats. They are sneaky. They aren't real confrontational.
Men are like dogs. We ARE confrontational. That's why men get in physical fights and get violent.
In some situations one is a better trait than the other, and of course this is simply a generalization and does not apply wholly to the sexes.
Think about it. How many times have you been out to a bar or club, if you do that sort of thing, and seen a bar fight? Two men wasn't it? The women aren't fighting. They just talk about each other behind their backs. The men have to be tough guys.
In a work setting, where physical violence is absolutely not acceptable, the male confrontation aspect is minimized to a point where it is effective. If a guy has a problem with someone else, he'll confront them and say, "hey man, what's the problem" and they'll have it out and it'll be over. Whereas, often in the situation of women is quite different. They would rather let the other women around know how they feel and who is wrong in the situation so that the others know who is in the right, while avoiding the confrontation. This would of course be effective if women were all upfront with one another, however one of those women will tell the other woman in question and then she'll start telling everyone her version and soon, the entire unit is intwined in the controversy.
This is just my theory and does not directly imply that as a woman, you (if you're reading this) fit in this generalization.
Again, I'm generalizing, however I do think it is pretty accurate.
I'd also like to add that I never really had a problem working with ANY of my female classmates. I was the class clown and you knew when I was in the class. I was VERY open with my thoughts and never hesitated to give my 2 cents on every subject.
A lot of times the girls would talk about sex and things like that and get pretty graphic in detail in the night class. Most of them were older in the night class and not unexperienced. Sometimes I would be uncomfortable if they referenced me in some way, but I was never afraid to weigh in. Our night class was a self paced program and we were free to pretty much do as we pleased so it was pretty fun.
I would suggest that if you're having problems with your female nursing students opening up to you, regardless of age, to just show them that you are just a fellow student. Stand up and say, "hey, I know I'm a guy, the only guy here, bla bla bla, but I need some help with this or that, or if someone wouldn't mind letting me into their group I would appreciate it. I'm finding it harder to make friends in here than you girls are, and it would really help if you'd be nice enough to include me." :D :D Don't be afraid.
Be assertive. You're the man! Heck, start your own study group or whatever and invite anyone who wants to join to feel free. Do it off campus. Have it at your house or somewhere where you can have ****tails or order some pizza or something. Show 'em you're fun, and harmless.
Geez, another bad generalization here, but I think women have an easier time being friends with gay guys because they aren't a threat to them sexually. I mean, not a threat, but they don't have to worry about them coming on to them or hitting on them, or incenuating or harrassing them or anything like that. It's just like hanging out with another woman. Heck, maybe even easier becuase A) they don't know about those woman things and girls don't have to worry about having to listen to it from them and B) they don't have to worry about them hitting on them EVEN like another girl might. I mean, there's STILL A SLIGHT chance that even a GIRL might hit on them, as they "could" be a lesbian! I mean, if it's a gay guy, you can rule it all out!
I don't have anything against anyone with non hetero sexual preferences. I don't care one way or another. I'm just generalizing :).
Ummm, two things. Enough of the "Male nurse" title, try just "nurse" Not sure that any of us need formal education to be male. Also... If the women in your class are in cliques, or being catty, why worry about it. I hate to say it, but this is really, in my view, a case where some serious sucking it up and not whining is in order. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but the real world will chew you up etc... Do your thing, get your degree. There is endless possibility, take advantage of it.
I hear your pain. Please do not give up unless you absolutely want to. And making any decision if you are clinically depressed is not a great idea.
I've worked with male nurses (straight and gay) in ICUs for 20 years, and they are great! From my experience at a large hospital in a large city, they seemed to attract a lot less *****iness than female nurses (I'm a woman). I felt that the patients, families, and docs treated them with respect.
Don't even worry about nursing school even though it sounds like it's making you miserable; you are there for classes only--focus on the GPA and getting recommendations from instructors.
I hear what you mean about some of those classes like bedmaking (I actually started off in engineering at school so you can imagine how I looked upon some of this stuff). I didn't make friends at school because most were older and married.
And I've worked with nurses who become doctors, and doctors who have been nurses, and nurses who become PAs, CRNAs, NPs, attorneys, pharmacists, and who leave healthcare altogether. And nurses who stay in nursing. If you plan your finances well, you can do what you want. But there is no shame in being a nurse. It is an honorable profession.
Could I have become a doctor? Yeah, sure. But I wanted to have a life, especially in my 20s. I also didn't want that level of liability and responsibility. The thought of being on call chills me to the bone. I can do 12 h shifts, and have 4 days off. And I don't have to do a M-F 8-5 job, or put in 60+ hours a week like some professions.
And, yeah, it is a tough business. But my friends in other professions complain about the same thing.
