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Thread: Depressed newbie, please help...

  1. #21
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    It seems like your problems are not job related. Develope your personal life and keep it separate from your work life.
    Find an identity besides "Doogie Howser". Try church.

    Don't be afraid to see a head shrink, I was worried that my job (as a 'badge carrier') would find out about seeing a head doc, but those records are confidental. I am glad I did, I almost shot myself in the head after being a narc cop for 7 years.

    Yea, you'll find people are strange, they expect guys to be doctors and girls to be nurses. The good people tell me that being a male nurse is a noble profession. I just think of myself as a LIFESAVER.

  2. #22
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    Newbee;

    I have been reading the posts and thinking what I could give you as advise because I know exactly how you feel about being embarrassed about being a male nurse. I, too was embarrassed especially after meeting my wife who is a doctor and socializing with her peers. I found myself wanting to make excuses for why I was not a doctor too, or why I hadn't tried medical school. Then, I found that those people whom I was embarrassed in front of were not with me when I was holding the hand of the lady who was dying, or the young man who was in a motorcycle accident and now in the ICU in the middle of the night scared and needing a friendly voice. Or when the family who needs to understand what is going on with their loved one and they are upset because the doctor said something they couldn't understand and walked off. I was there to help them understand the things we were doing and the status of their loved one who lay motionless with IV's, monitors, art-line, etc. They were so scared but relieved when they understood more about what we were doing for them. They were not there when as an ER nurse I delivered a baby on a gerney as it was rolling into the OB unit. They were not there when I could see and understand the data from the monitors which show the trends of my patients vital signs and knowing they are in trouble and in need of calling their doctor in the middle of the night to come in. They were not there when the doctor thanked me for alerting him to a situation that needed to be taken care of immediately. They were not there as I cared for three ICU patients knowing I had the skill and experience necessary to do the job. In other words the embarrassment flew out the window in comparison to what I am and what I can do as a nurse. The position we, as nurses, are in for our patients and their families is very unique within the medical profession. To be there to help them cope with an overwhelming situation they find themselves in. To give of self from the deepest levels of my soul to another human being out of caring and love is not something I am embarrassed to do. I am proud to be a nurse. My parents wonder why I am called a male nurse and not just a nurse. They say women are not called female nurses, why call me a male nurse. When you find what it truely means to be a nurse, then you will never be embarrassed to say you are a nurse. Most of the doctors whom I once was embarrassed in front of, wouldn't have the stomach to do what I do as a nurse. You should be proud of what you can do and what you can give to others in their times of need. Nurses are the only ones who are there 24/7 where we bond with our patients like no other in the medical field if we allow ourselves to do so. Are you going into nursing for a job or a career? As a job it pays ok, sometimes pathetic, sometimes well. As a career, nursing is NOT just women's work. It is a career for caring people.[font=Comic Sans MS]Text[/f]

  3. #23
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    Also, don't pick a profession from what "others" say about it. Pick a profession for what "you" can do with it.

  4. #24
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    Sheesh . . . if you think it's bad now. Wait until a patient you're taking care of suddenly up and dies on you. You better be looking for a plan "B" career.

  5. #25
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    the feelings are normal. you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders and know what you want. hang in there

  6. #26
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    I am sorry to here about your situation. I like you enjoyed highschool very much. I am workin towards my rn at a community college and i constantly receive attittude problems from girls in my class. at 1st the comments bothered me but now i use them as motivation t o be the best i can be at this field. my future salary has always been on my mind however, one of my close friends just started at 19 an hour which is plenty to provide stability for a family. i used to have major depression problems when i was younger. i am 19 now and for most of my highschool i was addicted to prescription drugs..(lortab,valium) but through counseling and finding God i overcame it. i would def. advise talkin to someone but i would be careful with the medication. i wish u the best of luck and know that there is plenty of people who deal with this stigma so u arent alone

  7. #27
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    does "on my own" include seeking help from random individuals in chat rooms? It seems to me like you DO want help, so why are you afraid counseling? Is the stigma of being in therapy?? Believe me, my sanest friends are the ones who weren´t afraid to tackle their personal problems with a professional. By blocking that off, you just put another obstacle in your way to recovery. be smart - see a counselor. NOW.

  8. #28
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    Rob,
    O.K. let's talk dude!!! As a 44 year old LPN that has suffered from depression most of my adult life, I have some advice for you.
    1. If you are clinically depressed it will not go away on it's own. This is not a
    virus rob. You need to seek a professional to assess your situation. It is
    nothing to be ashamed of. It is a physiological problem...you are not crazy.
    2. I never knew how good I could feel until I started taking an anti-depressant,
    and went through therapy. It will amaze you to see how good "Normal" feels
    again.
    3. It sounds like you are brilliant, and you need to stop kicking yourself.
    4. Nursing can be very lucrative. With your apparent scholastic ability you could
    be a doctor, got an extra 12 years to devote to school? Nurse practioners can make a pretty good living. Most NP's are making at least 75K per year.
    Not sure what you meant by earning a good living, but 75K a year is nothing
    to sneeze at...especially if you marry some cute NP.
    Keep your head up Bro, and don't be affraid to go ask for help.

    P.S. Ignor the cliques...thier loss.

  9. #29
    Member Extraordinaire Aaron C.'s Avatar
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    I was the only guy in my class. There were some pretty hot girls in there, well, in the day class anyway. I switched to the night class because I was "sleeping with" whoever I sat by at any particular time. I swear some of those girls...man...

    Anyway, being married, it was a bit difficult. I was accussed of sleeping with the only hot girl in the night class too. This got to the point where I was so mad I stood up during class and went on a curse laden tirade at the top of my lungs. We ended up meeting with the instructors and working it out between us.

    Evidently, well, it's a long story.

    NONE OF IT was true of course. I'm happily married with 2 beautiful girls, but when you get that many girls in a room, and one guy, and people get mad or jealous, or think people are talking about them, etc., **** hits the fan.

    I hate saying things like this, but that is part of what's wrong with nursing. Nurses eat their young. Women tend to be more insecure and catty therefore they talk about each other behind one another's backs.

    Women are like cats. They are sneaky. They aren't real confrontational.
    Men are like dogs. We ARE confrontational. That's why men get in physical fights and get violent.

    In some situations one is a better trait than the other, and of course this is simply a generalization and does not apply wholly to the sexes.

    Think about it. How many times have you been out to a bar or club, if you do that sort of thing, and seen a bar fight? Two men wasn't it? The women aren't fighting. They just talk about each other behind their backs. The men have to be tough guys.

    In a work setting, where physical violence is absolutely not acceptable, the male confrontation aspect is minimized to a point where it is effective. If a guy has a problem with someone else, he'll confront them and say, "hey man, what's the problem" and they'll have it out and it'll be over. Whereas, often in the situation of women is quite different. They would rather let the other women around know how they feel and who is wrong in the situation so that the others know who is in the right, while avoiding the confrontation. This would of course be effective if women were all upfront with one another, however one of those women will tell the other woman in question and then she'll start telling everyone her version and soon, the entire unit is intwined in the controversy.

    This is just my theory and does not directly imply that as a woman, you (if you're reading this) fit in this generalization.

    Again, I'm generalizing, however I do think it is pretty accurate.

  10. #30
    Member Extraordinaire Aaron C.'s Avatar
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    Re: Depressed newbie, please help...

    I'd also like to add that I never really had a problem working with ANY of my female classmates. I was the class clown and you knew when I was in the class. I was VERY open with my thoughts and never hesitated to give my 2 cents on every subject.

    A lot of times the girls would talk about sex and things like that and get pretty graphic in detail in the night class. Most of them were older in the night class and not unexperienced. Sometimes I would be uncomfortable if they referenced me in some way, but I was never afraid to weigh in. Our night class was a self paced program and we were free to pretty much do as we pleased so it was pretty fun.

    I would suggest that if you're having problems with your female nursing students opening up to you, regardless of age, to just show them that you are just a fellow student. Stand up and say, "hey, I know I'm a guy, the only guy here, bla bla bla, but I need some help with this or that, or if someone wouldn't mind letting me into their group I would appreciate it. I'm finding it harder to make friends in here than you girls are, and it would really help if you'd be nice enough to include me." Don't be afraid.

    Be assertive. You're the man! Heck, start your own study group or whatever and invite anyone who wants to join to feel free. Do it off campus. Have it at your house or somewhere where you can have ****tails or order some pizza or something. Show 'em you're fun, and harmless.

    Geez, another bad generalization here, but I think women have an easier time being friends with gay guys because they aren't a threat to them sexually. I mean, not a threat, but they don't have to worry about them coming on to them or hitting on them, or incenuating or harrassing them or anything like that. It's just like hanging out with another woman. Heck, maybe even easier becuase A) they don't know about those woman things and girls don't have to worry about having to listen to it from them and B) they don't have to worry about them hitting on them EVEN like another girl might. I mean, there's STILL A SLIGHT chance that even a GIRL might hit on them, as they "could" be a lesbian! I mean, if it's a gay guy, you can rule it all out!

    I don't have anything against anyone with non hetero sexual preferences. I don't care one way or another. I'm just generalizing .

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