Hello everyone I'm Niki and I'm new here. I am an LPN and I am in school for my RN. I have been addicted to prescription pain pills for 4 years now. Back in December I got caught calling in my own RXs for Vicodin. I was charged with obtaining fradulent RXs but convicted of possession of analouges, which is a 2 year felony and landed me in jail for my 1st time for 24 days. However, my conviction was deferred because I am a first time offender. If I complete my 3 yrs of probation it will be dropped. Anyhow, I have to do HPRP now on top of my probation. It seems like my caseworker hates me. I got a job where there was no narcs; in a doctor office. She called them and told them I was using because I am taking suboxone and theres no indication for someone to take suboxone unless they are using. I have been clean since 3-23-07. i am drug testing 3x's a week and PBTing # times as well. Its costing me so much. On top of that I have to do 9 hours of IOP a week and 3 nights of NA or AA. Plus individual counseling and community service. Anyhow the doctors office ended up taking me off work until a psychiatrist said I was ready to go back to work which took her 5 weeks to do. When they said I could go back, of course, the office said they filled the position. Now I am jobless, desperate, alone, broke, and pretty much hopeless. I hate not being able to practice what I love. I know I did this to myself. Any advice out there? Will it ever end? Sorry to ramble on but I have no one to talk to....
Welcome to the club of those who suffer from addiction. I do have one piece of advice for you. We all went through some of what you are going through. Remember that the courts are about punishment and Nurse diversion is about public safety - neither is really invested in your recovery so don't get confused about what's important here. The most important thing right now is building a strong foundation for your recovery. I totally understand the need to work but many of us were not allowed to work for close to a year. In some states you can collect disability under a dx of depression. If not you can get work in any field outside of nursing so you can make ends meet while you get that strong foundation I mentioned earlier.
You nursing career is not over just on hold for a bit. Anything you put before your sobriety is exactly what you will lose if you lose your sobriety. Who put you on suboxone? If you have been sober for a while you should consider weaning off it. It's really bad for your liver anyway. However I know many boards require it to help in deterring future use. You might have who ever prescribed it talk to your Case worker and explain the purpose and uses of this drug.
The thing to remember with the boards is what they really want to see is that when they yank the leash how fast you come to heel. As you build your recovery program this pill gets easier to swallow.
Also be careful what you eat and drink - become a conscientious label reader and avoid anything with any amount of alcohol in it. Check out the list posted at the etg website or at MEDfriends-in-recovery. Remember too that you are not alone. Get a sponsor and start working those steps. Great things will come to pass for you and countless others. I will keep you in my daily meditations.
Peace and Namaste
Suzanne