Help!

Hi, my name is Karen and I am new to this site. I joined in 2006 and I never posted anything after that. I have no idea why. That was a while ago. Anyway, I've been looking for a nursing forum and I'm glad I found this one again.
I have a few questions: I had my RN revoked in 1986 due to drug use. I continued to use for another 8 years, but finally got sober in 1994. I've been in recovery since then and I'll have 14 years on the 23rd of Feb this year.
I went back to school and got my Chemical Dependency Professionals License in 1998 and got my Bachelor's of Art in 2001.
About 1 1/2 years ago, I contacted the WA State Nursing Commission to find out if there was any way to get my RN license back. I feel it's important to come full circle both in my recovery and my life. I really enjoyed nursing, it was more personal circumstances that led me into drug abuse in my mid 20's. They said yes, there was. All I needed to do was take an RN Refresher course and join the Impaired Nurses program (take UA's, go to AA/NA, attend peer meetings, etc...) I really want to get started with this, but I don't have the 2500. to 3000. dollars it will cost to take the refresher course and I am having a hard time finding any place that will give me a scholarship or grant or loan for continuing education. FAFSA doesn't give loans, grants, etc...for continuing ed things.
I can't go to a bank and ask for a loan as my credit still isn't very good and I have looked just about every where for anyone or any place who might provide funding for a refresher course.
I would appreciate any feedback from people on this site as to ideas you might have or suggestions or other sites to check to find money for the refresher course.
I would also like to hear from other nurses in recovery who are working in nursing and doing well in their recoveries, or not, as the case may be....

Thank you in advance for your help and/or advice and I'm glad to be hear.

Karen :33:

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Congragulations on your hard earned achievements! In my area, there is a nationally known rehabilitation hospital that offers free RN refresher courses in exchange for an agreement to work there X number of months. Maybe a similar program exists in your area. I would inquire everywhere, it never hurts to ask the questions. Good Luck and God Speed!

I understand your desire to come full circle but i have to be honest with u and as what r your motives? If you have made a career for yourself outside of nursing and have stayed clean for as long as you have-why take on this mission. for a long time, if my whole life was ****, as long as i had my nsg lic somehow i was ok. wrong, believing that almost killed me 2 times. Being a nurse can no longer define who u r as a person. you know that if you have been in the program and have grown to know yourself emotionally, spiritually and physically. The illusion is that we can go back to the scene of the original crime and be ok. i will tell u from experience, yes i loved nursing, it is and was my heart. but i also know it was not until i believed i was worthy of a life away from the greatest temptation and destruction i ever knew that i was able to grow and live for the first time in years. i have nearly 3 1/2 years clean and the best decison i ever made-for me-not representing anyone else here, but for me was to take my life in a new direction while still using my nursing backround. i have done research and now am working for a company that designs the educational material for medical ceu programs for doctors etc.. just check your motives. you don't have to come full circle with this one, unless your heart is in it for the right reasons. you know as well as i do that seeing the drug, dispensing and hoping and praying that the dragon does not jump onto that is very very hard. if you r ok and doing well in your life now, why do u want to change. it is kind of like if you r doing well on antidepressents and u feel great, so u think u no longer need them anymore. in my opinion being sucessful out of nursing, and most importantly staying clean for as long as you have is a great personal success. i urge u not to rock the boat, because regardless of clean time and your intentions, the shame and humiliation feeling that comes with being on contract that first year is enough to bring u to a place mentally that i would never wish on anyone. we all love, loved being a nurse. but i know for me, leaving nursing was the only way i could stay clean, alive and feel fulfilled in a long term way that nursing did not for me. once i went back to it clean, and on contract, honestly i really did not like it as much as i thought i did. just thoughts, experience strength and hope from my personal story, this certainly may not reflect other's input, but i know i am happy and alive today, and if something is working, why change it. xoxoxo jl