Needing support

I found this forum today after a search for people like myself. Long story short; after 18 years continued sobriety, I relapsed. Usual story, hadnt gone to meetings, hadnt worked the steps, hadnt talked to others in recovery and ended up listening to the disease and my ego. Now referred to my state boards nurse assistance program, and terminated from my job. In a loving way, I was hugged, told to take care, and that any reference from them would indicate I had diverted narcotics. Only good thing I did, was not argue, and gave them a big book and asked them to read to employers if they had others such as myself to deal with.

Just wondering how others such as myself have dealt with the stigma of being a addict/nurse, if you found any employers that were willing to employ you after such an event, and just needing people like me to talk to.

I am going to meetings, one or two a day, back with my sponsor, and actually at peace now the secret is off my back and I have once again found home in the meeting rooms. Just feel professionally devastated.

Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

sbroughman, I'm not an addict, nor am I in recovery; but I have a number of alcoholics in my family so I know the disease well. I consider myself lucky in some ways: I'm one of those people who becomes violently ill from alcohol and have adverse reactions to many drugs so neither have ever appealed to me.

I just wanted to offer support and encouragement to you. Your state has a nurse assistance referral program, find out about it and get involved with it ASAP.

Keep working your program. I'm glad you have some peace now that your secret is out. Professionally you can come back from this; but first you do have to heal and work on the disease. You can do this; you aren't the first, nor will you be the last healthcare professional who has this disease and is able to return from it.

Good Luck!

Like you, I had many years sober (17 years), got away from meetings and ended up diverting from my jobs - I started going from job to job for fear of being caught, and then finally I was caught. I've been in my state's BON recovery program for just over a year now (have been sober a while longer) and started working a clerical position in a detox. Just got my license back with basic priveleges (no meds) and the detox hired me as admissions nurse on the floors. So there is hope, and there are jobs out there. Hang in there, do what the BON requires of you; at first it seems overwhelming but just take it a day at a time. And keep going to meetings!:)