Dear TCP,
Please don't take my comment in offense. I just want you to consider the possibility your wife had a relapse. All the nurses here are well aware of the disease of addiction. We remind ourselves daily that even though we are “clean” we are still addicts. That “addicted self” never goes away and lies to us continually. It tells us that we really aren't addicted, that one pill wont make a drug test turn positive, or that since I just tested, I surely wont be called on to test again in the near future. Having a lot of clean time doesn't erase that fact. I find it interesting that you are the one posting here and not your wife. Have you been attending Nar-anon or Al-anon meetings? Has your wife remained active in her recovery and going to at least 2-3 meetings a week? There usually seems to be a co-dependent relationship between the addict and their partner. We seek out people who fit our needs as do our partners. I only bring up these issues because I have learned so much about myself and my relationships after going through and inpatient and two outpatients programs as well as more meetings than I can count. It may be that your wife's test was a false positive, but again, it may not be. I assume you are not an addict. In AA/NA, your types are affectionately called “Normies”. You take pain medication as prescribed, you can drink socially and never experience the compulsion that is addiction, therefore it's difficult to empathize. Please understand that in addiction, relapse is far more common than we all wish it were. Best of wishes to you and your wife. Again, please take my comments in the loving and caring spirit they were written in.