“TMB. One of my favorite doctors actually used this as a diagnosis—’Too Many Birthdays’! Haha.”
— Amanda Belcher Klumpp on Nursing slang terms—got any top picks?
“Someone please tell the new kids (or whoever does this) that there is to be no crack on the unit. Besides dragging pants, there’s an awful lot of butt cracks showing with those low riders…arrgh!”
— 10 style tips from the Head Nurse
“TMB. One of my favorite doctors actually used this as a diagnosis—’Too Many Birthdays’! Haha.”
— Amanda Belcher Klumpp on Nursing slang terms—got any top picks?
“I took a nap in the broom closet and forgot to wake up, and the entire staff looked for me for an hour. They thought someone had kidnapped me because it was on third shift and the nursing home was out in the boondocks.”
— Patrika Cos on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve take a nap?”
“I just realized that I graduated from nursing school 20 years ago today! I remember drawing blood for the first time on a real person (not those fake mannequin arms with the red dyed liquid). One of the nurses I worked with was brave enough to let me practice on her. As I started through the skin, she yelled, ‘Ouch!’ It startled me so much I dropped the needle. It was hanging off her arm, half in and half out, as she said through gritted teeth, ‘Finish shoving it all the way in!’ I did. Finished drawing the blood and we still laugh about that to this day.”
—Cindi Beck Jenkins on 16 things I remember from nursing school
“My all-time favorite is when you wear regular dress clothes and a guy looks at you and says, ”I have never seen you with clothes on.” A doctor said this to me once. The nurses’ station got very quiet, and then when he walked away, there were lots of hoots!”
— Melanie on 5 things a male nurse should never say to a female nurse
“I was taking care of a 96-year-old black lady who thanked me repeatedly for being an angel. ‘Oh, I’m no angel,’ I assured her, ‘just ask my kids. They think I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.’ Without skipping a beat, she said, ‘Child, that means you’re doing your job.’ I love that lady sooooo much and have used her line repeatedly on my kids, much to their displeasure!”
— Maureen Evers on Facebook sweeps question “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?”
"I've seen more penises than any prostitute!"
-Nurse Betty
“TMB. One of my favorite doctors actually used this as a diagnosis—’Too Many Birthdays’! Haha.”
— Amanda Belcher Klumpp on Nursing slang terms—got any top picks?
“I used to say you must be a nurse if you believe speeding lead therapy (a bullet) is one of the best treatments for some patients.”
Vanessa Cain on Nurse Jackie’s “You might be a nurse if…”
A nurse caring for a man from Kentucky asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?”
“It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied.
The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”
—Facebook group LPNs Are Nurses Too!