What would it be like to be trapped in a body, with very minimal purposeful movements, and have your mind completely alert and hear everything being said for several months? Just imagine! Pray for Brenda! I think she cried today when I talked about her hugging her children. My God is it really possible??? <font color="blue"> </font> My God is it really possible???
There are a couple of people at the nursing home where my mother is thats in that situation. Even though they cant move or talk, you can tell in their that they are alert to whats going on around them. and I dont see how we could ever imagine what thats like. Heres just hoping that we never have to go thru that.
She is a young mother of two grade school kids. I simply can not imagine the horror of the living grave. Thank God it's not me and God truly bless the people already there, This may be like limbo. I think it may be worse than hell. Oops my culture may be showing to much. Glad to hear from you again.
"one" - Early 80's Metallica song is about a war vet who lost all of his limbs, his sight, his speech, and his hearing to a land mine. All he can do is lie there. In the video there are doctors standing over him and he is blinking in morse code, "kill me, kill me" over and over again.
"darkness, imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror, I cannot live, I cannot die, trapped in myself, body my holding cell"
OMG Shortbus, I can not. My # three son, listens to Metalica lots. I can not understand how anyone can know what the words are to any of their songs.I call it Head Ache Music. LOL Is the 'quote' words from the song. I would be fascinated in seeing all the printed words. The song written out. How could I get that?
yeah, it's words from the song. Metallica was around before I should have been listening to them, but somehow, I wound up with them in my tape player when everyone else was listening to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince or Vanilla Ice. Anyway, I'm 100% sure you could find them just by searching online. Or buying one of their cds with the song on it. Actually, all of metallica's songs have pretty strong and deep meaning to them.
I may start a big storm with what I'm gonna say, but take it for how it's meant. As with the vet wanting to die, things like this are why i think assisted suicide should be thought of more in our day and time. I think people have the right to die with a little bit of dignity instead of just being here in whatever state they are in. Whether it be terminally ill or as in the vets case, a mind in a body with no way to ever get out. Hope this doesnt ruffle anyones feathers.
I definately won't disagree with you Jerry, but there is such a fine line there, it would really hard to create any kind of guidelines that distinguish between what is/is not ethical/legal/moral.
Many times in my career I have believed we should actually help someone die. I think the line is so thin now that sometimes we are. I remember when I was told if the respirations were 11 or under, never for any reason give more pain medicine. Now I have heard Hospice teach if we give more morphine it helps them relax and die. I did not believe in Gavorkian (sp) but I was glad he brought to the public, awareness of what was already ethically happening. I believe in treating families and pts. I pray a lot, and hope God brings everyone together at the right time to accept his will. Their is not good death for the living when a loved one dies.
You are so right, and where would the deciding who would live or die end? What about abortions, with non- productive no family elderly, or severely disabled? Who would decide? I had a litter of kitty's once. The umbilical cord was far to short and tied two of them tightly together. One had three toes on one foot shrunk and necrotic. The one it was tied to, was paralyzed from lower mid spine down. I clipped the cord and separated them believing someone should kill the paralyzed kitty. We had some serious emergencies in my home just then and it was about 4 days before I could check on the kitty's again. They were both growing and surviving. I left them alone and just watched.
At about 1 week, the plump little growing kitty with a non growing foot died on it's own. The paralyzed kitty was the first to leave the nest, the room and the house. It first drug itself around, then slowly began to use it's legs, then did fine. He was the only Tom. He lived about 3 years before a coyote or something got him. I thought to myself many times how if it had been up to me I would have killed the wrong cat. We are only human.
PS. Where the cord had wrapped around the lower waist area of the kitty all the hair grew in white. He was a black kitty. We called him string because of the fine line of white hair that wrapped around him. What I don't understand is, If color is defined from the core of the hair, How did this abnormality happen? And if the cat shed all the time Why did it last the lifetime of that cat? More to imagine with!!! Huh?
Her eyes are focusing more and she is beginning to track a little. And MIRACLE!!! She is swallowing now sometimes.PT has talked in front of her that she will not get well. As soon as they leave I tell her, "Don't you listen to them Brenda, You R coming back!!"
That's one thing that pisses me off-talking about them in front of them. It happens more frequently with the aides, some of them aren't as educated, and plus, they are around the pts more often and I guess get tired of it or something, but they act as if they aren't even there.
I had this one patient who had NEVER talked since she'd been in the hospital. She was my "patient" for the week (3 days actually). On day two, I was feeding her, and she looked at me and said, "I don't want no more". That was it. She went right back to being completely unresponsive as she was before, and I mean completely unresponsive.
It actually scared the crap out of me. None of the nurses believed me that she talked to me. Well, she did, and I about crapped myself.
Anyway, you never know who could be listening to you.
The line is very fine and it would be very hard to determine who would and who would not. But I think with a caring person to oversee this, it could be used the way it would be intended to. But with anything, you can;t please all the people all the time. Would be a hard thing for the person or persons who had that responsibility.
I remember when I was still in class, we had a three year old little girl that was bleeding out. The mother allowed about 7 students to be in the room while we did everything we could for this little girl. We students mostly removed soiled supplies and ran for new ones, We watched for and prayed for this darling little girl who never even opened her eyes with about 10 people surrounding her while she was bleeding heavily. We had an helicopter on its way. The Daddy showed up and came in and we moved away. He walked to the head of the bed and bent over and kissed the little girl tickling her with his mustache, she opened her eyes and wrinkled her face at the feel of his kiss. Suddenly all of the students left. There was no room in two bathrooms while we were all crying. It hit us all at the same time that the little girl was alive and in there and aware of it all. She did get Life Flighted and we as a class sent her some flowers and a card thanking the family for letting us have this experience. They wrote us back the bleeding had stopped and she was going to be Ok. I believe that experience really taught me this lesson.
Hey judy, that experience seems to be one of those that comes around now and then to serve as belief enhancer. It would be sooo nice to have more of those. I know no matter what we are doing, we all need to have our beliefs strenghtened now and then.
I watched a TV show last night called Miracles, There was an adult who had frontal lobe brain damage from a skiing accident, and was trapped inside a non-moving body, with a very alert and active brain. After a freak incident on a plane where everyone lost about 1 minute in time, she came alive again and had all her memories of pre and post accident intact for about 1 hour then lost it all again. The observer had made a tape of her alive and well again and showed it to her husband after she had returned to the locked in catatonic state with a very alert brain. She was staring straight ahead and locked inside of herself hearing the video of her saying all the things she wanted to say to her husband who was sitting beside her watching the video, I cried. Keep praying for Brenda.I believe it is real, and still do not want to imagine it too well. Just the thought hurts.
It's me again Judy, and I'm probably going to say something again to chap the masses. we can never even imagine what there going thru. We can only assume, because it is such a horrendous thing to have happen to you. If the worlds population knew that if they gathered in his name for a single purpose, that their voice would be hear, the faith of the world would grow tremendously. But that's not the case. Is recieving an answer to ur prayer a miracle, you bet it is. Would the world be a better place if more prayers were answered and more miracles were witnessed by the masses, you bet it would.Does anyone believe in miracles anymore. I dont think so just because they are so few and far between. Would mopre make them any less important, I dont think so. I think they would strenghen the faith of the world. The lady u were talking about . What happened to her should be reserved for those who ned to see what goes around comes around is all about. How can you believe when you see so many good people aflicted with things like that when the trash of the world goes on and on on their merry way.Am I cynical, you bet I am, but this cynisism is substantiated by what happens on a day to day basis. dont get me wrong, I believe in a supreme power, whether it be God, Jehova, Budda or whomever. But I dont believe in the all caring, loving impression it is supposed to possess. Vent time about things that shouldnt be.
I believe God did not hurt Brenda, Man did. Sure it was an accident, but God sent caring believing people to care for and encourage her. Sometimes my empathy gets to be too much. So often we get our pts just a little better and send them away. Brenda has been good for me. I see such tiny things and get so excited. This is my first time working with a pt like this. I gave her a tiny SQ heparin injection on the right side of her abdomen. She jumped. It hurt her and I was so glad. I told her,"Brenda it has never hurt you before and this is the first movement I have seen on the right side." The naysayers(sp) are still saying "reflex" and not allowing for excitement and some even believe me to be a silly person, maybe less professional as a nurse. What about the studies that have proven the cure rate for cancers are much higher with positive upbeat, and spiritually uplifting care. The non-believers will not stop me. It may be a reflex to them, but each improvement is a miracle to me. Lets keep praying. An aide told me today that she started moving the right hand and Brenda began to push back. Yeah! for our side. I am the Yeahsayer... LOL
I discovered early on when I sang and prayed with Brenda she relaxed. I don't usually do so much religion in front of,or with my patients. The timing is important. Many pts. do not get the spirituality shared with them. They all get questioned as to it's importance to them on admission.
Brenda made some vocalizations through her blow-bi today scared us so bad we did ABG's and a chest exray. When she responds it is for a short time, then she sort of spaces out again. She just does it more and more frequently. They came and talked to me today because they are preparing to move her to a long term care or rehab facility. I will really miss her. They wanted to give me time to prepare, they knew her leaving would be hard on me. If I can get her to respond consistently on command she gets a better chance at going for rehab. I cheated on the NPO today. Her greatest and most consistent motions have been with her mouth. I have been asking her to chew and then stimulating her mouth with a toothette, today I started dipping it in apple juice. She sure has been swallowing more. I told my self that vocalization was, "Mmmmmmmmm", LOL. I have grown to love her. It will be hard to let her go. I keep telling her when she gets well to come back and visit me. Hope she remembers me half as much as I will her.
I had an aide who confided in me yesterday, that she went into the room and closed the door and was quite verbally {firm?}with Brenda. She felt when Brenda phases out after short interactions she was doing it on purpose. She told her she had to fight for her life back and show us something. That people would be so nice to her they would nice her to death. They would do everything for her and not ask her to do anything for herself. Someone else would raise her kids, and if she didn't want that she better start fighting for them now. She told Brenda that no one else would be as good for her kids as she would.
She has me thinking. I would never have said those things and I think it borders on cruelty. I told the aide not to be that firm with her again. But would I be the one who would nice her to death? Is that possible? I believe praise and reward is far more effective. I will continue that because my life has made me that way. But... Just more food for thought. Anyone share their thoughts with me on this....
Just a thought Judy, but have you thought about going to visit her when she leaves. Would be nice to go and cvheck up on her, like I said, just a thought.
