I was sitting around tonight talking with the other nurses working tonight, and it struck me again how often nurses seem to be divorced, or getting divorced. Is this similar to most places? I've worked in 4 different places and everywhere I go it seems that nurses seem to have alot of trouble in their marriages. I'm in a relationship that seems to be heading towards marriage but it makes me nervous when I see these women that I know are amazing, faltering when it comes to making mariage work.
It can be nurses married only a few years to those married 15 years? Is it the stress of the job? Too little nurturing left over for the husband/family, or is it unsupportive husband/family? Makes me curious. I know it prob differs from situation to situation, but there is a high incidence of divorce.
Any way, it's almost the end of my shift and i'm on an interventional unit with two walkie talkie patients so i have the luxury of posting this:) have a good day!
Divorce runs across the board. There are probably certain professions with higher divorce rates, like super busy surgeons.
Focus on your relationship and be positive.
I agree with Kdog. Not sure, but I think doctors have a higher rate of divorce. How many have the wife who helped them through school, and then the 'trophy wife' who's younger?
BTW....I've been married 'long enough'. :nurse-rofl:
I've been married for almost 7 years, and have been a nurse for 5 of those. I think the divorce thing is common no matter what profession you look at. The divorce rate in this country is greater than 50% because people don't take their vows seriously. When I said "til death do us part," I meant it. Marriage is work- hard work. Many people don't realize this, so they bail when things get tough.
Many people are also under the impression that if their relationship isn't the same as it was when it was new and exciting, then there is something wrong with the relationship. Eventually the "newness" fades, and if there is nothing behind that excitement & physical attraction, the relationship will fail. Marriage is about something deeper than physical attraction and sex. Yes, those things are important, but if there is not a mutual respect and admiration, and a mutual commitment to work hard and compromise when needed, it won't work out.
Maybe nurses whose relationships don't work out have a hard time leaving work at work. Maybe they get burned out emotionally, or expend all of their energy caring for their patients. I have found that if I can leave work and work, and keep myself somewhat emotionally detached from situations at work, I tend to be a better wife. I like what I do, but my job/career does not define me. I am a wife first, a nurse second.
I agree with the belief that marraige takes a lot of attention. As a person, you have to feel happy and whole before you enter into a serious commitment. Then, your relationship has to be prioritized above the house, the car, the garden, hobbies, career, parents and even children. When you and your spouse are well connected, you ride the highs and lows together and everything else falls into place. I've been happily married for twenty four years and it just keeps getting better.
R
Ive been married over thirty some years, raised 7 kids, have 14 grand kids. One life equals one wife.Anything else gets to confusing.
Part of the problem is the fact that due to the nature of our profession many nurses work varied shifts. Unlike many other professions since patient care is 24/7 many nurses find that their home life takes a back seat to the long hours that hospital require nurses to work. Hospitals do not close because of weekends or holidays. Many nurses are forced to work opposite schedules of their partners so there is someone available to take care of young children. Unfortunately I have seen to many friends have their marriages break down because their work schedule has caused them to grow apart from their spouse.
While the demands of the healthcare profession are indeed rigorous, they can only destroy a marraige when the partners allow them to do it.
R
The key word is "If" they allow it. Simply do not allow it.
One of the reasons I left hospital nursing was the affect I was letting shift work have on my marriage. Of course I was doing psych with a 20 - 1 pt to nurse ratio. I do home care and my hours and schedule are much more my own. True I don't make as much as I did doing shift work but it's a trade-off.
I have been married (this Time) for 10 years and as it has already been said marriage is hard work - we've been through a lot together. Here's to 10 more!
Peace and Namaste
Hppy
Wow, I must say some, all really, outstanding post. Since my wife & are both RNs some of y'alls points don't directly apply. Yet, our marriage has challenges different in another way with me an active duty Army nurse. I will admit our marriage has been rocky at times since I've returned from 15 month deployment in Iraq. Even though I've been back since June 2008.
IMHO, being a dad & a husband are THE two most important duties in my lifetime, especially to the best of my ability.
Again, cool thread.
Yeah that's more along what I ended of this thought. I wasn't worried about my relationship--not even married yet, but relationships have always intrigued me. And it seems (at least the units I've been on) I'm always hearing of at least 1 or 2 divorces or people having trouble. and even since I've started travelling it seems the same holds true. and what some people do...juggling a fully time nursing job, marriage, multiple kids..etc is amazing to me.
I've always thought it would be an interesting study to do, something about the marriage trends among nurses. maybe if i ever go back for the masters it'd be a possibility, though that's a long way off....
Yeah, this IS a cool thread. Marraige within the field of nursing would be an interesting study topic but in a broader scope, modern marraige would be even more fascinating. How does the successful marraige flex and bend so each partner can be fulfilled? If there are kids, how does that work? Blended families? What about role reversal? In my personal experience, I learned early on to let go of preconcieved notions.
Anybody else have tips and thoughts on what makes a marraige successful? You don't have to be married to answer. Single people are encouraged to share their beliefs, ideas, goals and desires. Divorced or separated people have important insight to give here. Please consider sharing what you learned from your experience or what you think could've been different.
I look foreward to reading more posts. Thanks in advance, everyone
R
