Having a tough time...

[TracyR]

Let me weigh in on this one.... and first of all, let me say that I do not make one penny off the following comments. I have spoken with Dr. Judith Briles, and she is one of the leading authorities on the subject of conflict in the healthcare workplace. That being said...

These are the findings of one of Dr Briles surveys...

. Have you ever resigned from an organization or transferred to another department because of abusive behavior?-45 percent said yes.
. Was the behavior bullying, sabotage, harassment, other, or all of the above? The majority said all of the above (48 percent).
. Was the behavior generated from managers/
administrators, co-workers or both? Forty-seven percent said it was from managers/administrators; 17 percent {from co-workers and 31 percent {from both (5 percent didn't answer).
. Would you consider working for the organization again if the abusive parties were terminated? Fifty two percent said yes, and 48 percent said no.
. Of the 48 percent who said no, a variety of reasons were given. The majority (41 percent) reported that the problem was too invasive in the organization; 24 percent felt the problem was poor leadership and management couldn't manage; 22 percent said that it wasn't worth it; and the remainder was split between the erosion of their confidence, tarnishing their reputation and the damage of their credibility.

These responses are incredibly telling. First I reported that the nursing shortage is not a shortage because of lack of personnel-too many nurses choose not to work in nursing.

Second/ if the leadership of an organization would acknowledge that there is conflict and sabotage and bullying within their organization/they could work at resolving it. And third if they choose not to address it, deal with it and put an end to it.

Furthermore...

The ZAP Tip from Dr. Briles is...
The key factor to the nursing shortage is NOT that there aren't enough nurses. The key factor is that there is too much bullying, sabotage, undermining and conflict
in their workplaces. Until management, and nurses themselves, confront the abusive behavior and create a no tolerance zone, the shortage will only continue to increase. It's not the lack of nurses; it's the accepted and tolerated rotten behavior of co-workers, managers, and administrators. The health care toxic workplace must be changed.

ZAP it . . . Now.

[PainNP]

When I was in my ADN program in the late 70's, there were 2 men in a large class -- it was tough for them, but they made it. Now that I am a BSN, MSN Nurse Practitioner, I find that many men are in nursing and doing well. I have even heard female nurses complain that the men always get the manager (educator, head nurse, etc) jobs. So persevere and you may find men very welcome in nursing. My male colleagues are great (I am now in my 60's and an NP) -- other options after you finish a BSN, include nurse anesthesia (lots of men), NP (also many men). So keep up the good work.

[Aaron C.]

I'll second Tracy's comments. Judith sent me a copy of all her books and the are fantastic. She's a great person. We met her in OKC at a convention and had dinner and drinks with her and her husband. They are great people and she has a sure grasp on many of the problems facing nurses.

[yazz]

It sounds like some of you a mounting a military operation to gain acceptance. "find the most popular girl and make friends with her, the rest of the class will soon be your friend" Please listen to yourselves, you sound paranoid.

Kedesto

I wish I had been viewing this website 2 years ago, when I started my university access program. I had slightly different fears in that I was and still am socially inexperienced, and find it difficult to speak to and make friends with other males let alone that other unfathomable species "WOMEN" (by the way they come from venus) If I had been looking for at this site it would have reduced my fears and boosted my confidence by hearing I am not alone in my thinking. I am now a second year adult nursing student on a diploma program (I don't know what the equivalant is in america) and I am glad to say my need for knowledge has made me apear more extrovert in uni. I love discutions in class and i'm always asking questions in lectures, in fact some of the students moan and groan (sometimes tell me to shut up) when I do speak but it only makes me more determind to be more vocal (yes sometime I do it to wind up the moaners) I have found bitchyness mostly from the women in the group, but I think thats more to do with the women to men ratio. I don't know what it's like for you over there but in my class of 50 there are 5 men and we inter act fine. I'd say the biggest problem in your situation may be that because you are frightend of interacting with others you may your self apear standoffish, however there are always exeptions to these rules and there may be some who are vendctive, bitchy, resentful of your male presence, and unwilling to interact with your because of your size and sex, but as a previous poster said, who cares what they think it's there problem not yours, plus they like you will have to work with people:
you don't like/
do like/
fancy the pants off/
find physically repulsive, and thats just the patients.

So please remeber you are not alone in your feelings all us guys have felt like that, and I bet so have the girls.

So kedesto If you still read this site I hope your still studying because we can make it, so please post another message and tell us how you are doing.

I'd like to think that when I qualifie in september 2006 you will also be practicing in the U S of A.

PS to those who think women are a different species, you are wrong.

Look in your anatomy and physiology books and you will find that apart from genitaliar and distribution of hormones we are exactlly the same. We do the same things

Shop
Bitch
Gossip
Fart
complain about our weight
We just do it in a slightly different way

Night night

[spongebathbob]

I am the only male in my class, too. The way I have overcome the fact that women can be threatened by my gender is 1.) DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. And 2.) work hard to create your being an asset by always giving 100%.

[Old_School]

Back in the day, nursing was quite the little sorority. Upon leaving college with an associate degree, I headed for the big city to launch my career. After knocking around for a year, I started asking myself "Is this it?" So I went back to school. This time to the big time University. I took all the classes that I neglected while I was persuing my nursing degree. While I was there, I joined a national fraternity. Want to know what I found out? Women in groups and Men in groups act exactly the same. The other important thing I found out was that they hated the opposite sex intruding upon their group. What was also interesting is that they did tolerate the "little sisters". Conversely, the sorority sisters did treat their "big brothers" pretty well. A hypothosis was formed. When my two semesters there ended, I went out and found a real (permanent-type) job. I decided to be the big brother type. Whatever the "sisters" asked of me I did gladly and with a big smile. I never favored one clique over the other. I treated all the "sisters" the same. I never gave them a reason to gang up on me. And never, I mean n-e-v-e-r did I try to be a member of the sorority. This is where a lot of guys foul up. Some guys demand to be a member of the sorority. Let me tell you, they don't want you. And if the truth be told, you really don't want to be in that postion. I mean really what guy wants to be a DG or a TriDelt? Well, maybe I few guys that I have met along the way. The most amazing thing happened though. After a couple of years I was just accepted as a member. No fanfare. . .no special ceremony, I was just "one of the girls".

[Old_School]

If we're not careful, we could end up like this guy. TFF