http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend
10. Think of all the weight you'll lose from not getting to eat because of short staffing.
9. Think of the closeness you'll develop with your co-workers after being knee-deep in Code 10's, Code Blues and Code Browns.
8. Everyone is so frazzled, so next to them you look fabulous!
7. Think of what a challenge it will be to your nursing skills to run a code without a Crash Cart because they are all down in Central Supply being replaced.
6. The joy of having the previous shift's charge nurse tell you, "I don't understand why no one would return my calls to work today or tonight. Oh, and by the way, you have four nurses for this shift, and a full house of patients sick as dog dirt."
5. Because you're a new grad and you want to be a "TEAM PLAYER" like your head nurse told you to be. (That and you have "sucker" stamped on your forehead!)
4. When you go home with your back aching from not having any nursing assistants who work weekends and your feet aching from running your butt off for "emergency procedures" (like the gas pain your patient has had for a week that is suddenly unbearable), you'll know that you really ARE a caregiver.
3. Think of all the computer skills you'll gain from putting in your own orders and ordering supplies from Central Supply because your Unit Secretary got pulled to another unit. (That can go on your resume as...."Know how to operated multiple outdated computer equipment.")
2. You don't have time to adequately chart so you may get to learn how our judicial system works. On the bright side, your handwriting will be so bad that it can say whatever you want it to say!
1. Think of what a GREAT "Learning Experience" this will be. (Translation: You just got shafted!!)
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You can turn on the Super Bowl/World Series/whatever in a Pt room (gives you something to watch while you bag the Pt waiting for the ventilator)
You can get to know the one person from each ancillary service who is working that day ... really, really well.
Maybe I just lack a sense of humor but I find this really demeaning to the nursing community in generalOriginally Posted by nurseamyg
On a busy med-surg floor, the doctor stopped to brief me on a patient’s condition: “This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly.”
The doctor then began listing orders: “You must give an injection in a different location every 20 minutes, followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour, followed by one pill every 15 minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than 10 ounces of water every 25 minutes and must void between. Soak his arm in warm water for 15 minutes, then place ice for 10 minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every 30 minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition and vital signs every 20 minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well.”
The doctor left and I entered the patient’s room. I was greeted by anxious family members and an equally anxious patient. All quickly asked what the doctor had said about the patient. I stated, “The doctor said that you will live.” Then quickly reviewing the orders, I added, “But you will have to learn a new sport.”
—Jeffrey Bodurka
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