Hi again Brighteyez, I am so glad there is someone out there to relate to. I know how it feels to think you are the only one in the world going through this. I try to tell myself daily that I am not a bad person. Most days, it takes a lot of convincing. I went to my first outpatient counseling session today. Wow...do I feel better!! I am glad to hear you are going as well. I can guarantee you, it will help. Of course, we didn't dig very deep today, but it just helps to know you are doing something to help yourself. It makes the situation seem a lot less hopeless. There IS hope Brighteyez!! I am also glad to hear you are being proactive in your recovery, before you possibly get tangled up with the courts and legal issues. This is what the courts will want to see, that you are taking some honest steps towards change and healing. That's what my lawyer told me. But do it for yourself too, not just the courts. I am trying to look at this whole situation as a breakthrough for me. My life will be so much better in the long run. Please keep me posted as well. Take it day by day. I'll keep you in my prayers.