Dealing with confrontation in nursing

[FluffyBear]

It seems that there is more being said about violence in the workplace in regards to nursing. This is a somewhat understandable trend considering the increasing stresses facing nurses and the health care system with shortages, budget cuts, staff cuts, and yet a continuously expanding role and expectations.
This violence is present at several different levels; nurse to nurse, patient to nurse, nurse to nursing student, and other health care professionals to nurse.
With increased awareness comes increased ability to deal with it through appropriate channels. I have faced a few situations as a student in the clinical setting that have lived up to the saying "nurses eat their young". But does the awareness and resources make a difference? What options are available to assist in making a workplace more tolerable? Any horror stories and how you dealt with them?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are probably not gonna like what I have to say.. I am soooooooooooooooo tired of hearing nurses eat their young... I heard it in 1979 when I went to LPN school in NC FROM MY PROFESSORS and again in 1992 1993 1994 1995 and 1996...FROM MY PROFESSORS AGAIN....

I think they want to toughen up nurses but they prepetuate fear, anxiety, and hostilties that don't have to be there..

If you look for an attitude I bet you can find one whatever it might be...

Sorry I am getting down....

WR,,, three commas for Becca

I had easy deliveries .. I know I can't work in OB.. I'd stuff a sock in some mom yelling...I am biased...

Don't be biased.

[Maxi]

I am convinced the best way to deal with hostilities is to ignore direct insults and refuse to react. Like the Christian verse, " Overcome evil with good." It may hurt to meet criticism or anger with offers to help the offender, but eventually the other person will feel so guilty they will be won over. If you play into anger, or refusals to help by by returning the anger and by being unwulling yourself to help others you make te prblem worse.
My experience in nursing has been great. I've not run into angry nurse or a hostile work environment.

[mercynurse]

Although I don't particularly like confrontation, I am very straight forward and up fornt.
However, I also am old and wise enought o realize that sometimes I need a cooling down period.

If a situation has made me very angry, I wait untill I have my temper and emotions under control. Then I directly approach the person who has created the situation. I find that works for me. We can then have a calm, rational discussion.

[Anonymous]

I personally like the chocolate cake trap.. I go to the cafe and buy lunch or whatever and get a big piece of chocolate cake... I go right up to the person who's been in my face and say.."Oh dear, I ate too much and I can't eat this cake. I thought of you and want you to enjoy it.."

These meanies can't handle nice..LOLLL

WR,,, three commas for Becca

[Aaron C.]

If someone confronts me, I usually tie them upside down and put little pieces of ice in their nostrils and let them melt.

You'd be surprised at how quickly they come around.

There might not be any place in the hospital where you can do this unless they are really short and then you can use a traction bar.

Otherwise, you might have to enlist a couple of your fellow coworkers and wait for them in the parking lot.

Loading them up in an SUV works best, but if not, just use a car with a big enough trunk. You'll also need a pillowcase to put over their head.

Make sure you also have plenty of supplies, as you may need to start IV access, and you'll definately need enema supplies, and a cath kit. A razor may also be helpful.

Now, you may or may not choose to use alchohol as a tool, but it can be helpful.

Take them to a dark secluded place, preferably a dirt road if you are in an area where one can be found. Oil pumps in sounding off in the background create a nice effect. Once you reach your destination have a chair available for them to sit in but do not remove the blindfold.

Be sure and have several large scary sounding men available to yell at the top of their lungs at the individual in order to scare the living crap out of them and let them know where they are lacking.

After about an hour or so of yelling at them, they may be loaded up into and taken back to the original location.

You shouldn't have any problems with confrontation from then on with this person, and you'd be surpised how much easier things will go for you at work.

Your patient load may suddenly become lighter. The offgoing nurse may no longer put things off for you to do, and offers of assistance will seem to pop up a bit more often.

If this tactic doesn't work, or you aren't comfortable using it, you may choose to simply communicate more openly with the person confronting you, OR, try giving them a piece of cake.

[Anonymous]

Aaron... I see you are taking advantage of having a nursing forum......HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


I told a nephrologist that I used to work with surgeons so I have had my a** reamed by better docs than him...He was so silent you could hear a pin drop. I also like the one on Delphi... When a doc throws a tantrum just tell him you're gonna call his mother...LOLLLL

Not to make light of the issue though.. I have confronted right back and usually it's a question of standing your ground and letting the other person know you don't take sh** from someone...Damn scarey to do that but I have become friends with a couple of people doing that...Respect is a two way street.. When they find you won't tolerate it or crumble they'll back off...These people don't like strong people...They aren't why would they.

Another tactic is to look at them and imagine them in PJ's...Ratty PJ's and laugh at them...
Oh dear off on a tangent again...Aaron you are like a bad apple...JK>>>>

WR,,, three commas for Becca

[medi]

*LMAO*.... Aaron if I didn't know better I'd swear you live in Jersey & your last name's actually Soprano. Too funny all of you! Love it!

Workplace violence is a serious issue though...
Ya'll heard about the nurse put into a coma after being attacked by a patient right? She eventually died.. I don't remember specifics, but I think the patient was an elderly patient with dementia or something.. anybody remember that situation??

[timbrown]

[ QUOTE ]
WindingRoad said:
I personally like the chocolate cake trap.. I go to the cafe and buy lunch or whatever and get a big piece of chocolate cake... I go right up to the person who's been in my face and say.."Oh dear, I ate too much and I can't eat this cake. I thought of you and want you to enjoy it.."

These meanies can't handle nice..LOLLL

WR,,, three commas for Becca

[/ QUOTE ]

WindingRoad:

Back in 2000, I was hired as a computer professional by a company that I think just wanted me to do a short project. When I was over, I was done.

I'm thankful though because my wife told me that the company she works for (a medical supply firm) needed a driver. This is the job that helped me come to the persuasion of changing professions.

The guy who was president of this company had a severe temper problem, liked to swear at his employees, call them his "minions" and motivate them via intimidation. At one point, he had even been arrested AT WORK for assault; he was poised to deck someone. He had someone call the police to have someone else hauled off, but by the time they showed up, he started getting violent. I remember watching him being escored out of the building to the local public safety building...hoisted on his own petard. Remember, this guy is in the healthcare profession!!! He's a licensed Pharmacist.

At one point in my time at his firm, he informed me that between 8:30 and 5, he was my "lord and master" . No, I don't think so.

Well, about 6 months after that, I was making appointments with concentrator patients to do routine checks on the units. What happened was a P.R. crisis when one woman said (angrily and understandibly) that "It'll be difficult for you to check my husband's unit because he's been dead two months." Oh. Oh. Anyway. I apologized profusely and explained that our communications needed to be fixed and that I'd take it to the boss.

His response? Yelling, of course. "We can't know when our patients die!" Yeah. Right. And I always wondered why we put on clown suits and randomly picked up oxygen equipment for no good reason. Plus too, the pick-up forms require a REASON why it was picked up.

Anyway, he fed me a stream of profanity and personal abuse, to which I calmly said (over the cel phone) "You know, as adults, I think we both deserve more respect than to talk this way". That was the last straw for him. Of course I wasn't surprised. He had been trying to get me to quit for some time. Unfortunately though, I had to go back to turn in my keys, etc. It seems like I sat there an hour (probably less) listening to him rant, spitting through his clenched teeth, and POUNDING his fists . And as I kept my cool (Praise God!) he only got worse.

He even demanded some things of me, threatening me (as a FORMER employee) to fire my wife (who works in payroll) unless I did what he wanted. The silliness of it is that the D.O.N. was there as was my supervisor who could have been witnesses to a blackmail lawsuit. And of course, his door was open and plenty of others in cubicles could hear him.

I pity him. One of the last things I did before I left was I stared him right between the eyes and told him that. He's nothing more than a "school yard bully in a mid-fifties body".

I'm not kidding; God gets the glory for my being able to remain detached from this mess. A few years ago I wouldn't have been able to handle it...and ten years ago I was much like him.

And now I can look back and KNOW that I really am interested in healthcare because I was able to stick it out through all his nonsense. I've recently been interviewed for a CNA position at a nursing home maybe 6 blocks from here. They asked me to explain the big change in career. To my pleasure I could explain truthfully and convincingly that I was interested in the profession for what it is, and that I wasn't looking for an easy ride. And I learned to keep my focus on the positives of my job and not let the "nasties" drag me down.

But I'll never forget how he got so much madder as I got quieter. He wanted control and couldn't have it.

tim

[murrymom4]

I have read many of your e-mails and wonder why some nurses still have the idea to "eat their young"? We are undergoing a nursing shortage, so shouldn't you want to take new nurses under your wing and help retain them?
As for confrontations, I have always thought to smother people with kindness and eventually they will come around. If it gets to the point where it is affecting your work and your patients care, then by all means go to your manager (a neutral party always helps). I think no matter where you work there will always be people that do not mesh well together, but you still need to find a way to foster a professional working relationship. Nursing and teamwork go hand in hand. We need to leave our differences at the door and come together for the good of the patient(s).

Hope that helps!