Emergency Department Terminology, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor

[nursinghumor]

http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing...erminology.htm


• Angioplasty
A type of modeling clay used in primary schools.

• Atropine
A tall, evergreen coniferous tree found growing exclusively on the densely wooded slopes of rural Atro, near Bulgaria.

• Blood Culture
The Aztecs. Or possibly the Mayans.

• Blood Gases
If blood is heated above a naked flame, evil-smelling vapors will issue from it. These are blood gases, and are the reason why blood should not be heated above a naked flame.

• Cardiac Enzymes
A large, slightly outdated American car, rather like the Cardiac Eldorado but with longer fins and more chrome.

• Cath Lab
A young and rather pretty medical student who appeared in episode four of ER. Cath was only on-screen for a few seconds, but her performance is justifiably regarded as one of the first season's highest points.

• CAT Scan
The practice of making sure that there are no cats in an operating theatre before the patient is brought in. Came into widespread use after the awful 'Tiddles' incident of 1992.

• Chest Film
An extremely soft-core porno movie that only shows naked young ladies from the waist up.

• COAG Panel
The comedy guests that appear each week on the popular game show 'Chew On A Grape."

• Crash Cart
A form of road traffic accident most often encountered in Third World countries and amusing films about Dick Turpin and the Scarlet Pimpernel.

• Crit
An abbreviated and rather unpleasant term for an inhabitant of Great Critain.

• Dopamine
Where Dopa comes from.

• Gastric Lavage
Famous French actor, known for his superb portrayal of illiterate newspaper editor 'Guffy' Gunch Ravelard in the 1953 film 'Donner-moi un jeteur de flamme'.

• General Anesthetic
A kind of anesthetic used exclusively in the upper echelons of the Armed Forces.

• Hypertension
A state of nervousness doctors get into while having to deal with excessively active children.

• Hypotension
A state of nervousness doctors get into, while hunting for a misplaced syringe.

• ICU
The end of a game of 'Hide and Seek'.

• Injection
The feature in the engine of a rich doctor's car that makes it go faster than anyone else's.

• IV
The lady who serves tea in the hospital canteen.

• IV Push
Hospitals are often short-staffed. Sometimes, when a patient in a wheelchair needs to be moved from one area of the hospital to another, the lady who usually serves tea in the canteen has to do it.

• Large-Bore IV
That lady in the canteen just won't stop talking about her weight problem...

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[Grandma-RN]

Great ones! Hehe