WOW.....why this?

[KourtRNC]

I have been a Cardiac nurse for past 5 yrs at same hospital/unit.....and am devastated as to where my life has lead me. I was always the to one to precept, mentor, and assist others w/ their skills leaving not alot of time for my own work. I frequently stayed extra sometimes up to 20 hrs, and apparently made a few mistakes.
The last time I anticipated to work in May I was escorted by my partner, who nonetheless, has less experience than me, and is not perfect himself....to a urine test. The Clinical Coordinator along w/ another big wig awaiting me. I was terrified, and called my my boss (god for bid she come in) who I confess to that I will be positive for THC. My stupidity lead me to confessing to a friend my problems a few weeks prior. I was going through alot...had a major car accident in Dec, lost my grandpa in Jan, my dad had an amputation soon after, and followed by my mother being hospitalized twice. Along w/ all of this I am suffering severe depression, and anxiety..but am in major denial. My marriage was horrible as my husband was very controlling, jealous, and has not worked in 3 yrs. He depends on me financially, but will not help me. H etruly believes all should be on me. We have been together >10 yrs, and my kids adore him, but he may not last here if this keeps up. He leaves everything to me such as cleaning, cooking, shopping, finances, and caring for our baby.
I also was taking care of my grandmother, who fell and broke her femur when I was not there. Anyway, we smoked 3 joints over 3 weeks, and it howed. I was assurred I had my job, and applied for disability,,and recently was apr absenteesismproved. But for some reason was called in to HR Frid, and was told I am terninated for absenteeism---I have not called in in a long time, and when I did it was legitimate---I was given a warning months prior stating if I call in that I am off weekend program...I did not call in. Also--a few yrs ago I looked up my childs dr.s appt twice, and was suspended--this was the other reason they gave for my termination...Damn..not the drugs? I did text my boss a week prior, and state I was diagnosed w/ bipolar and am getting help. I apologized, and was under the assunmption I had my job...like the other nurse that was diverting and shooting dilaudid while at work----she still has her job, and has relapsed!!
What is PNAP and VRP going to do to me?????
When can I work again?????
Now the depression, and anxiety is worse!!!!Could i be eligible for unemployment in PA?????

[hppygr8ful]

First stop for a minute take a deep breath and take time to regroup. It may be a good idea for you to consult with an attorney who specializes in these matters. Don't just pick one at random out of the book. If you are part of a union consult your rep for a referral.

The facts are pretty bloack and white in that you did have a positive drug test and that you did violate HIPPA so the grounds for your termination are valid. Also if PA is an "At Will" state they can let you go at any time without a reason which many employers in "At Will" states will do.

You employer actually has a duty to report your positive drug test to the BON. They may or may not. My suggestion is you get another job right away anywhere you can, Nursing homes, Psych facilities, telephone nurse with and insurance company. Then cut your expenses to a bar minimum and sock everything you can into savings. Some Boards take up to two years to act on complaints so use that time wisely.

If you are still using marijuana stop now and don't pick it up again. It' messes with your bi-polar meds anyway. Also if you drink alcohol stop that too. Even if you are not an alcoholic you'll have to stop anyway because all board monitoring programs require strict abstinance from all recreational substances and many prescription meds like ativan, xanax, ambian etc...

If you feel you have a drug or alcohol problem get involved with AA or NA right away. Even if you don't believe in the 12-step model of recovery the board will make you do it anyway and if you have some meeting time under your belt they may take that into consideration. Also you may want to look into Mental Health annonymous to help build coping skills with regard to you illness. These groups are all free and the only requirement to join is an honest desire to overcome your addiction/affliction.

Your diagnosis of bi-polar d/o can work in your favor. Make sure you get documentation from your Doctor (Psychiatrist) about you illness and that it makes you unable to work at this time. I don't know if PA has state disability insurance but you may be able to qualify for SSDI under the bi-polar dx.

Most of all keep your chin up and keep trudging forward no matter what.

Write to me here for support - I don't know all the details of your State but can help with general cheerleading.

Peace and namaste

Hppy

[KourtRNC]

Actually, my employer is not reporting anything to the board, but I already voluntarily contacted PNAP and VRP, and filled out all paperwork. Will I still have to complete that if the addictionologist deems me not dependent and able to return to work?

[hppygr8ful]

I have heard of too many nurses who say that their employer had not reported them to the BON when in fact the employer did just that. The Risk management department of most hospital's does this to protect the hospital from legal action in the future. So always assume that someone may report you to the board and be prepared for what follows.

The Boards really don't care if you are an addict or not, nor do they really care about your recovery. What they really care about is public safety. They want to make sure that you have the judgment to to make decisions that allow you to practice safely. You never said what led the hospital to test you in the first place. It's highly unusual for a employer to pull you in for a test without some kind of probable cause. Were you behaving in an erratic manner ( bi-polar mania) were you sleeping on the job. Were there narcotics missing from the count? In my case I had a positive drug test due to a suicide attempt and my husband actually gave the hospital the viles of benadryl that I took from the hospital. That's right I got fired and placed into a monitoring program over benedryl. In truth I did in fact have a serious problem with alcohol and benzo's but I was never drunk or altered on the job and would never have come under suspicion if I hadn't tried to kill myself.

Everything happens for a reason - I truely believe I would be dead today if I hadn't had these things happen to me. I have learned to love life and am a better person for it. but the 4 years I spent in monitoring were hell.

You have a unique opportunity to get healthy and become a great nurse. If you do what is suggested and not try to fight the system too hard you will practice nursing again but right now you need to put your mental health first and get control of your disease.

Peace and Namaste

Hppy

[hppygr8ful]

How are you doing? I always worry a bit when a newbie drops off the radar!

[KourtRNC]

I am doing quite well actually....i rec'd a letter from the BON or actually their lawyer requesting i be seen and eval'd by their psychologist in Harrisburg which i did...it was quite extensive. He is going ti give me a good report and also believes my problem was mental health---which is stable now. I guess now its just a waiting game to hear from the board but i have a new job that i love---hope i don't lose it in the end...still scared to death....thank u for thinking of me )))

[SyckRN]

Hi KourtRNC,
I agree with every single piece of advice offered by happygrateful. I have been in your shoes. Some states make it mandatory to report urine drug screen results if the specimen was requested for "cause." Your BON would have come after you anyway, so you didn't risk much by self-referring to them.

When I entered CA's Diversion program, I was equipped with a year of meetings and negative drug screens. This helped some, but in the end the experience was not one I would willingly repeat.

It's good news that your psychologist evaluation went well. I hope that his assessment will lessen the hoops you might otherwise have had to jump through.