Reply With Quotehey man, some people just suck. It sounds to me like your first instructor might have been that kind of person. I won't try and stereotype the type of woman who was teaching you but I sure can picture her in my head.
Ok. Here goes. I graduated with a BSN about 2 years ago. My previous job was in a VERY male combat role in the military. I went into nursing because i needed a career that was stable and rewarding. I have always been a nurturer. I know that is hard to believe because of my military background. But it is true. I think i actually learned this in the military. We truly were a "band of Brothers." Anyway, I really enjoyed nursing school.. It was tough but I made it through. All of the female students really enjoyed each other. Me included. ANyway, about midway through my second clinical semester I was doing pediatrics. I had this clinical instructor who I had taken the previous semester and who I thought was a great instructor. So i decided to take another clinical with her. You remember the drill right? You go to the unit the night before you get patients assigned and read everything about the patient and then go prepare with your big 50 pound text books and medical dictionarys and other books. Well, I walked into this poor little guysroom and he had 5 IV's running. He had a feeding tube. He was in a body cast. I thought to myself, "OK..you can do this....you will have a nurse with you...just ask for help....go home tonight and hit the books and you can get through this." Well, that was my first mistake. THe next day came and i went in there and did my best. No worse than any of the other students....my meds were checked by the nurse and given by the nurse...all correct. I managed to change in and out of the paper sterile gowns every time i went into the room. One other student got pooped on by her student and the clinical instructor went totally berserk...."Oh MYGAWD, YOU ARE GOING TO CONTAMINATE THE ENTIRE FLOOR." anyway, she made us all nervous....But i made ith through the 2 days. I thought pheww........I made it...Next week comes and I get the weekly progress report..I failed the first week.... I went too her and tried to get her to explain..I was not confrontational. I just simply asked her if she took into account that i had an extremely complex kid. I explained that I had an extemely difficult patient. she was totally unreceptive and said that I made several critical errors....She was never around. I could never find her. SHe was gone.....always with one student who was having trouble. ANyway, I asked the nurse that was assigned the the patient. SHe said that she didnt see me do anything right and what she did see she thought was great. I began to wonder if somthing deeper was going on between my instructor and I. The next week came and again, she maybe watched me prepare one med. give a bath...she wrote me up again. this went on for 5 weeks. finally, she called me into her office. SHe sais, " You have 4 more weeks. I dont think you are going to make it." You need to withdraw from the course." I went home and told my wife. I cried...I was so pissed. ANyway, I retook the course and passed w a A with another female instructor. But those words. "I dont think you are going to make it." have stuck in my head." I worked 3 jobs and one of those jobs I was fired from....THe reason is the NM said that I was "not learning fast enough" She did give me a good reccommendation and told me that I had potential to be a good nurse. Ive been at my current job for three years. THey love me there. It doesnt pay well. I really need to move on but im affraid. WHat if I get fired again? Ive gone back and thought about these terrible experiences to see if I could have done anything different. Here is what I came up with. 1. that first day when i had that little guy with all those complex issues I should have demanded an easier patient. The semester before I was in Med Surg for god sake. I could barely take a bp. I should ahve asked. 2. Before taking the job i was fired from i should have went to see the place. I moved to another city and I was hired over the phone before i even got there. When I got there I drove to the hospital and it took up about 20 city blocks...IT WAS HUGE....No parking, driving through traffic snarles,,,getting there was a nightmare. IT WAS BUSY..I mean the nurese never smiled. they always were pissed and backstabbing. The docs were always pissed at the nurses. the nurses were pissed at the nurse techs. and the nurse techs were pissed at everyone else. It was a total nightmare. I should have just said, "Im sorry but i dont think i fit in here." But again, I told myself that i could make it here. But on a deper level I was like, "whoa this place really sucks." But i wanted that big 5000 bonus. so i lasted 4 months. ANyway, I thought after that experience that I would et as far away from hospitals as i could. I landed a pretty nice low stress community health job. But I feel bad because I need more money but i dont think i can handle the pressure of a hospital. Im thinking abbout home health. But again, Ive lost my confidence. Mybe Ill just stay here where it is safe. Or should I move on. I feel like part of my problem is that I am male and my attitude comes off as somehow, "cocky". Ive really been trying to evaluate myself. I know Ive had the training. I know I have the credentials. I think I may be too male to alot of these women. Can anyone help give me some advice to toning myself down?
No confidence left.
hey man, some people just suck. It sounds to me like your first instructor might have been that kind of person. I won't try and stereotype the type of woman who was teaching you but I sure can picture her in my head.
You aaid, "I know I've had the training, and I know I have the credentials."
But do you really feel that you are capable of doing your job as a nurse? Without a doubt capable of doing the job?
It is my opinion and experience, that jsut because you have the training and credentials doesn't mean you can do the job. This goes for all occupations, not just nursing.
Ask yourself, "Can I do this job? And can I do it well?"
I know others can be cruel, and others can be jealous, and they can be judgemental, and maybe becuase it's you're a male, and maybe it is just your attitude, or maybe you're just not cutting it. I don't know, none of us will, since we haven't experienced your story by your side.
What I do know is is you can't allow others to get to you and get you to the point you are losing confidence. Can you do your job? That is the question. If you can't, or you are struggleing, then find help. Ask other nurses, or ask nurse managers to help you with the area's you are struggeling with. If you feel comfortable with everything, just find an area that can help you build up your confidence.
Just my opinion. Keep us posted on what you decide to do, and how things work out for you.
Hi,
It's terrible when someone puts you down especially if you are sensitive and you do sound sensitive. And that's not a bad trait at all.
Have you tried other areas of nursing. Was your first job a huge M/S floor. Those can be really intimidating. I had a peds clinical instructor who told me I was "skating on thin ice" . I know she didn't like it cuz I didn't "look-up" every thing. I was an LPN for 17 years and I had two kids and nieces and nephews and common sense to boot. But I passed her course with an A.. After I brought in all of my "papers" with the little smiley faces on them and the A's. She sure wanted to fail me and ya know why I believe she was intimidated herself...
Don't let others run your life. You are not in school or a kid anymore. You are in charge of your life. Go out and make it a good one. Maybe you would be good in a PACU setting or the OR.. Lots of males in the OR although that's changing too.
Make sure the next time you interview you go to the interview early in the day and request to see the floor and observe the nurses and how they act. Get a feel for the place and if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't.
Good Luck. You can do it. Stop the "tapes" in your head. Play other ones that boost your confidence.
WR,,, three commas for Becca
The name's changed but I will always be WindingRoad
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.
Have to let you know that I had one instructor when I was in school that I had a "personality conflict" (a nice way to say we certainly didn't get along!) with. Had her 3 count 'em 3 times!! She told me she didn't know what I was doing in nrsg. sch. as i would certainly never make a nurse.
You know, all I EVER wanted ot do in my life was be a nurse. I almost quit because of her....
Well, 28 yrs later, I'm still a nurse and a darned good one to!! I've continued my education and thank God I didn't let her do me in!
Confidence comes with experience. You can't let your early negative experiences keep you from a profession you personally find rewarding.
If the hospital isn't doing it for you, there are a ton of other places you can go. Grit your teeth, tough it out for a year or two in one place doing acute care, then you can pretty much write your own ticket.
It's difficult especially for Male nurses, but it's critical that you don't quit. The rewards down the line are well worth sticking it out.
Andrew Lopez, RN
http://www.4nursing.com
Hey you can do it and you will do it. I am a student and made an oral medication error so I was suspended from the hospital and have to resit a type of exam before they'll let me go back. Finding nurses to supervise can be hard. On one hand you have to have everything supervised and you feel conspicuous and then you wonder if you'll ever be able to just take off and get on with the work.I always feel as though I am tying them up and they're so busy. How come you were in med -surg and could hardly take a blood pressure..you tried didn't you and it's better than just pretending to do it and writing it down as though you have.
Blood pressures cuffs also are not always user friendly and the cuff fills with air and just won't work. You need to succeed for yourself.last year I had done all my prac and passed but failed the theory so had to do both again.it's disappointing and expensive but the hardest part was losing face and having to face people, but I went back and am doing okay in theory and hopefully will pass prac.
I shouldn't have made a drug error but as a student, this can happen and happens to qualified RNs too. It has made me far more careful so I'll make sure it's checked and rechecked. No use in kicking myself in the teeth. If you have any problems just ask.Are you cocky or do you presume to know the answers? or do you just have the wrong type of supervisors? It happens some people are cowes and some are absolutely fabulous. find yourself a role model and Good luck, incidentally I am over 50 and female and I think male nurses are fantastic most of the time.
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