I had a guy recently, came in by EMS & the radio report said "laceration to penis", so I'm thinking- great, just want I wanted.... So guy comes in & I go to check out the wound- he is schizophrenic & says voices told him to insert a firecracter into & penis, and light it. His penis is basically busted open fillet-style, so it lookes like he has 2 separate penises. Apparently, this guy has inserted pencils & drinking straws into his penis in the past. While he was in the ER, he had to go to the bathroom, so I said I would help him with a urinal- he got so mad at me, saying it hurts to pee. I wanted to say, well no sh** it hurts to pee, you've just exploded your penis! Anyways, the urologist ended up taking him to OR & basically castrating him, because he had caused too much damage to try to reconstruct his penis. Ouch!