I'm so deeply hurt with the news of your lose. However, I realize in no way can I feel what your feeling right now. It angers me that someone can pass at such an early age as 32. I do know how it feels to lose a loved one that is young since my dad passed away at the age of 48, when I was 10 years old.
Sounds like you are a very strong person and with your nursing education & experience are well equipped to better handle the loss... which is still never an easy process for anyone.
Thank you for sharing this very personal event so that we can help you in any way possible.