To my friends, please read

[TriageRN]

To my friends,

I am sorry for the delay in my posts and chat. I have had the unfortunate circumstance of a loss close to my heart, and have been trying to heal and help those around me heal.

On March 15th, my best friend and basically a sister to me was found unexpectedly deceased in her home at 0805 in the morning. The cause of death is unknown at this time, and having so many unanswered questions have made it very difficult to move on with the grieving process for me and her family and multitude of friends. She was 32 years old, and all we know at this point is that CPR efforts had been done for close to an hour, but unsucessful to revive her.

My friend was one of those people that cared so much for others, always put a smile on your face, and just being near her made you feel so warm and comfortable. She was a huge fan of Mickey Mouse, and people would always find a trinket or two with Mickey on it and got it for her just to make her laugh and smile! She was loved so very much by everyone in the hospital I worked in EVERY department (she worked there 5 years), and is very very missed.

I met her my very first day at nursing school, and she and I have been close like sisters ever since! This has been 10 years of one of the best relationships with a friend I have ever had, and I feel honored and lucky to have had this relationship with her for so long. She was directly responsible for having me realize that I can be a funny light hearted go getter that finds caring and compassion is done by being human and using laughter to educate and tend to those that need me. Whereas I had to work on it, she did it naturally...and I have never met a finer person in my life! And now that she is gone, a large part of my heart in mending slowly and at time with much sadness and torture.

I will be okay eventually, however I have not been very social outside the direct family and friends that need my support (and I theirs) as we deal with this sudden life changing event. Many of her friends and all of her family have looked to me for support and comfort, and as I am happy to do this...it is taking a slow toll on me as I need to grieve too. But those that know me know I will tend to their hearts, and when I feel they are able to move on...then I will tend to my own with the comfort of knowing they are okay.

I felt letting my friends here know what has happened will help with those of you trying to contact me or wondering where I am. I am at home guys, I am hurting, I am crying, I am healing...and I am thinking of her so fondly and with so many happy fun memories that it seems to take all my energy and time. Everything in my home reminds me of her (she spend many days here, infact two weeks before her death...she came here to our country home to relax after rough workweeks of two jobs), and there isn't a moment that goes by when I don't think of something that reminds me of her. It will take time, but I am trying to resume somewhat of my normal days...and being here is certainly one of those things!

Huggles all!

TriageRN

[SoldierNurse]

I'm so deeply hurt with the news of your lose. However, I realize in no way can I feel what your feeling right now. It angers me that someone can pass at such an early age as 32. I do know how it feels to lose a loved one that is young since my dad passed away at the age of 48, when I was 10 years old.

Sounds like you are a very strong person and with your nursing education & experience are well equipped to better handle the loss... which is still never an easy process for anyone.

Thank you for sharing this very personal event so that we can help you in any way possible.

[cougarnurse]

Triage, I cannot think of anything to say except you know that you are thought of every day in THIS camp, by me and mine.

When you need us, we'll be there.

Huggles back.

[cassioo]

I'm sorry for your loss.